By: Spooks
~ ~ ~ ~
Quatre and I were about half way back to Trieze's little room when we heard a light thump coming from the wall that bordered out to the living quarters. Jarred out of my musing, I stopped, causing Quatre to walk into my back. For a moment we just stood there, shock still and straining our ears in the tiny passage. The tight gloom of the metal tunnel suddenly caught up with me, and little shadow demons started to creep and gather around the beam of the flashlight, hovering just out of reach of the light's illumination.
After a few seconds of absolute silence, we were starting to feel pretty foolish for cowering there like a couple of morons. Then a deep muffled shout and series of thuds came from the other side of the wall, causing the metal lining in the passage to vibrate slightly, causing the dull surface to shiver and make the light dance around us. Hesitantly I put the palm of my hand against the dividing wall, then pressed my ear against it.
Talk about spooky, any second I was expecting something to come right through the barrier and yank my ear clean off. Yeah, I was creeped out all of a sudden. There was something just not right about those thuds.
I felt Quatre tugging lightly on my shoulder a second later. He was pointing to a certain spot on the cool metal of the passage's lining. He moved his index finger along the spot, and suddenly a stab of light invaded our tunnel. Immediately I doused the flashlight's beam, fumbling to shut it off. Once I had found the switch, I tucked the tool in the waistband of my cotton pants, where it pressed uncomfortably against my belly.
"Peephole?" I asked, whispering right into Quatre's ear.
He just nodded, moving aside to let me have a look. The implication of having a peephole in the passages that bordered our rooms was a bit ominous, especially since this area was supposedly unmonitored. If it was truly unmonitored, then how often did people come by and just peek in on us? Peering through the small peephole obliterated these thoughts from my mind. I suddenly had other things to occupy my attention.
The small spy hole was near the base of the floor of the room, and it was rectangular in shape. I had a feeling that it was part of a seemingly innocent electrical socket. It made sense that it was near the floor of the room, since we were still on the part of the passage that inclined sharply. But that's not important. What I saw when I peeked through the hole, though, that is.
I found myself looking into a richly decorated room with two single beds. Inside the room two girls stood, cowering together against the wall to my left. One of the girls was much younger looking, not even old enough to attend school; the older of the two was probably about my age. I remember seeing them once as they closed their door. Like most of the other kids, they avoided the five of us.
From the way the two girls huddled together and from the way their auras mingled, I concluded that they were sisters. On the other side of the room to the right, at the doorway, stood a couple of the tech guys and medical men from the labs. With them stood a couple of tall, blank-faced orderlies I hadn't seen before. A chill went up my spine as I saw the big men level guns at the two frightened girls.
With a silent cry the older girl shoved her sister behind her, her long black hair swinging over her eyes with the quick movement, hiding her frightened face from me. The orderlies fired their guns, sending soft whooshes of sound through the thick tension that had filled the room. To my extreme relief, brightly colored tranquilizer darts and not bullets pierced the thin girl's porcelain colored skin. Horror filled her eyes and she dropped her knees, panting without making a sound. Not once did she utter a word as she fell forward, jamming the darts deeper into her flesh when her weight fell on them, causing small spurts of blood to blend in with the crimson carpet around her.
The younger girl dropped down beside her fallen sister, shock and fear coloring her small face. Her mouth worked, no sound escaping, as she pointed at the men across the room from her. Small chest heaving against the thin fabric of her shirt, she screamed silently at the men. Then the child rolled her sister over onto her back, carefully pulling the small darts out of the girl's skin. The little girl's dark eyes were obscured by her coal colored hair as she nimbly tossed aside the darts.
Meanwhile, the orderlies were reloading their tranquilizer guns. Cocking them loudly, the sound bit harshly into the eerie silence that had followed the older girl's fall. Suddenly the little girl's head snapped up, and I almost gasped aloud when I saw her eyes had changed from a rich mocha to a fiery red. Incredible pain arched across the delicate brow as the little girl raised her pudgy arm and pointed one short finger at the men across the room from her. Her aura flared up a bright red, forcing me to recoil away from the peephole and squeeze my eyes shut from the pain of the flash on my retinas.
I still felt the current of power rip through the world as the tiny child unleashed her ability on the men in the room with her. I heard Quatre gasp softly and felt a twinge through our psychic connection as he pressed his eye to the peephole. Finally, I opened my eyes, ugly blotches of red dotting my vision.
Quatre just stepped aside from the hole when I nudged him. That surprised me, since he had been tugging at my shoulder the whole time I had been hogging the peephole only seconds before. He was hugging himself and radiating pure pain, his thin back pressed to the wall as he tried to stay quiet. He looked as though he were going to be sick. When I looked back through, I saw why.
The little girl had fallen forward, her small body landing on top of his sister's. The men in the room were panting and looking nervously at one another, but laughing those little tense giggles that come only after a brush with death. Evidently the filters had sucked the girl's outburst out of the room and away, protecting them. Even though I knew that it also had protected us as well, I cursed the inventor of such controlling technology.
My gaze riveted back to the child. Something was wrong there, but for a moment I wasn't sure what. Then it hit me…she wasn't breathing. There was no soft rise and fall along the tiny spine of the little child. She had died in her fury, her attempt to protect her sister.
Finally one of the medical staff stepped forward, then lifted the fragile body up. I almost jerked away from the hole a second time. The girl's eyes, ears, and nose, which had been covered by the blanket of her hair before, were all exposed and dripping blood and gray colored fleshy bits all over her sister's prone form, splattering everywhere. For a numb moment I was confused, then realized that the little girl's brains were leaking out of her face.
At that point I really did pull back from the wall, slumping down to the floor in shock, trying to drive the image of the little girl's gory face from my mind. Above me, Quatre kept watching, finally pulling away only when the last of the thudding footsteps were gone. Sinking to his knees after replacing the peephole cover, we just sat there, hugging each other in the dark. I think it's safe to say that the scene we had just witnessed had traumatized us, and we were not in any hurry to go anywhere anytime soon.
Finally, though, we had to leave. Only had limited time in there, after all. So we stood, pulling out the flashlight and shuffling along in the darkness that now seemed one hell of a lot thicker. Why had that happened? What were they going to do with the older girl, and why hadn't they just gassed the pair like they had done with us? How strong must the blocks have been on the small child's mind that had caused her brains to explode inside her head from using her abilities? What treatment had she already undergone, was she farther along than we were? If so, how much longer did we have before our blocks were that strong? Would one of us using our abilities fully cause another's brain to fry because of the pain connection? How much longer could we truly resist? How much longer before we lost our freedom for good? How much longer?
A sense of urgency flooded through me. We had to get out of here.
A few minutes and an eternity later, we were back at the juncture between the passage to the machine room, the one we had just been down, and passage to the lab area. Standing beside the machinery of the sliding door, Quatre and I just exchanged a glance before stepping back out into Trieze's little room. That was enough for today.
Let me tell you, it was a huge relief not to step out and see armed Thugs and med staff waiting for us. I was more than a little paranoid from the horrible scene we had just witnessed. Thankfully, we hadn't been caught or detected. It was unbelievable, but I guess Trieze's subtle hints had been genuine, the truth.
Putting on the facade of a shaky person who had just stopped crying hysterically wasn't that difficult. Hunching over to hide the concealed flashlight, I gripped onto one of Quatre's arms. After the blond schooled his face into an expression of weary concern, we stepped back into the hallway, reassuming the little scene that we had put on before entering the room. As we walked along the hallway, Quatre kept the act up by murmuring things like, "I don't know where he is today," and "You're okay now." As we walked down the hallway, we tried our best not to look at the closed door of the room that the two sisters had shared. It was hard. Infinitely hard.
Stepping through the doorway to our own room, we saw that the other guys had already returned from their distracting activities. In fact, they were standing around as though they had only just come in. Keeping up our charade, Quatre muttered something about us all needing to talk, then patted me again on the back. Fighting the overwhelming urge to wink, I let myself be handed over to Heero. Then we left, heading out to our hollow tree to discuss what Quatre and I had found out and witnessed.
Safe in the artificial earthy smells and the smooth wood of the tree, we relayed everything we had found, from stepping inside the passage to the machine room to the little girl's death. Shock and horror was tangible in the air after we finished, mingling with the thick sound of silence and deep thought as the other three contemplated our story. Quatre was now cuddled up to Trowa's side, almost in his lap, as the tall boy circled his arms around the blond's slim waist. Wufei and Meiran were almost melded completely together, the spirit girl hugging into him in despair. As for me, well, Heero and I were turned sideways a bit, and I was sitting on the soft ground between Heero's legs, leaning up against the front of his body. He had his arms wrapped loosely around my waist, and I held onto them desperately, leaning back and resting the back of my head against his shoulder, our warmth mingling.
Having to retell the way the girl's face had looked, drenched in blood and fleshy brains, well, it had knocked me for a loop. It strange how much I cared about the death of someone I didn't even know. A few months ago I didn't care about anything, not even my own life. So much had changed in that time. I was whole for the first time since my parents had been killed. No longer alone, I had learned to feel things again, and this small revelation hit me as I sat in the gloom of an artificial tree in the aftermath of the death of a child I had never really met. It was surreal.
I had just realized that I no longer had depression. Well, let me rephrase that. I will always have depression, but now I had learned a new way to live with it. Things had changed.
Pain still didn't frighten me, though, neither did the thought of dying. Instead, the wrenching sorrow was replaced with the burning need to help those that had pulled me from the maw of living death. I cared about other people because they cared about me. No longer afraid, I had faced despair and come back to tell about it. My concern for myself was still close to nil, but at least I had concern for others. They, in turn, cared about me. If I died, then they would hurt. I didn't want that. So as my personal safety stayed nothing to me, it simultaneously became of the utmost importance because of those that cared for me. It’s a paradox of the mind. I don't expect you to understand. I don't.
"So this machine probably filters out the stronger outbursts of power, right?" I finally said, not moving from my snuggled up position with Heero. "If we shut it off, will there be a back charge of energy, or what? What if it's the only thing keeping the place in check? All that pain that festers, all that dark energy…if it were to flood the place, It might be lethal."
Wufei nodded, his hair brushing his shoulders slightly with the movement. "Yes, but it is obvious that the machine can be adjusted. When we are in those sessions, we release a lot of energy. It isn't sucked up by that machine. Perhaps there is a way to keep the negative energy away while allowing more freedom with our abilities."
"Potentially, if we could harness that black energy in some way, it could be useful," Trowa said quietly. That said, four sets of eyes suddenly turned to look at me.
"Uh-uh. No. First of all, that is one hell of a lot of power, and unless I was able to use all that new ability that they keep us block from, it would kill me and probably all of you, too. We'd have to find a way around those blocks first, because I sure as hell am not going to cause one of you to have a brain aneurysm to batter down my blocks. I'd rather just let the energy kill me first," I stated, spitting it out quickly. It was the closest any of us had come to speaking about our strong bond, our protective feelings, and it was embarrassing to hear it out loud.
"Alright," Wufei just said, shrugging casually. I knew he was trying to save my pride by just glossing over my words, but I could tell he was a bit shaken too. "I wish we knew why they had come for those two girls, though. Perhaps if she's still around, Meiran and I can speak with her."
"That would be good," Quatre agreed immediately. "Of course, if you can't, then we still won't know. We really should be concentrating on finding a way out of here."
"Is there anyone on the outside that you guys could contact?" I asked, knowing as the words left my lips that it was a bad idea and waste of time to ask such a question.
Most of us here have minor psychological problems that could be taken care of in an outpatient facility. We're here because no one wants us, and we are painfully aware of the fact. For instance, I have grandparents that could have taken me in, but they didn't even hug me at my parents' funeral. I was that crazy kid who needed help, and they basically disowned me, forcing the government to take me in as a ward. They didn't want me, and I doubted that the situation was any different for the other guys. We had rarely spoken of such things beyond our first getting-to-know-you talks.
"My family would think I was making up some sort of story, another so-called hallucination," Wufei said quietly, turning his head to look at Meiran's sad translucent face. "Then they would tell the authorities here what I said. And we all know how bad that would turn out."
"Same here," Quatre whispered, leaning more into Trowa.
"I'm not sure if my sister would believe me, either," Trowa said. "She'd probably get upset that her hard-earned cash wasn't paying off. She'd just get more worried than ever."
Heero just scribbled down a note and handed it to me to read.
--No one. Never met my family.--
That option out of the way, we started talking about who we knew around the asylum that could help. It was really just talk, though, the same conversation we'd had several times before, circling and recycling itself into new words, but always the same hopeless ideas. Nothing new, nothing hopeful, nothing helpful at all. Thoroughly discouraged, we finally had to leave our haven to go get something to eat.
~ ~ ~ ~
Walking into the cafeteria was an odd experience. Just a whiff of the noxious scent that came from the bog in the center of the room, the mire that was produced by the machinery just below the floor, gave me a strange feeling. Knowing that we were standing above the room that Quatre and I had been in just hours before was just odd. All that time, it should have been obvious that there was something going on with that muck, but it hadn't been.
I mean, come on, the thick mixture of sludge was the outward manifestation of filtered ethereal energy, a combination of all kinds doused liberally with pure pain. No wonder it was so putrid. And the muck demons, the way their little mud fights could only take place in a certain perimeter…the ooze must have been designed to dissipate after a certain amount of time and distance. The only way the mire could exist was right above the funnel, continually renewing itself after it disappeared. Again, I wondered who invented such a machine.
We picked up our food, heading to some distant and deserted hallway. Now that Mueller was…gone…we didn't have to worry about being accosted. The scientists no longer took us away at dinner times, they usually tried to be a bit more subtle than that and waited until we were in our rooms to take us away.
Eating, we just let our conversation wander into the ordinary topics it normally did when we were acting normal instead of plotting a way to get out of our controlled habitat. We discussed schoolwork, people we knew, and those various oddities that we always talked about. It was a welcome respite from our heavy conversation of earlier, but there was still an underlying feeling of menace that followed our every word. Even when we finished talking and went back to our room, even when we were later lying down to sleep, the menace followed. It never left, it just hovered, waiting to pounce on us when we least suspected.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next day we went about our business as usual. In Calculus class Mr. Khushrenada didn't act any differently than he normally would have, to my slight disappointment. I was expecting something, a wink, a meaningful look, anything. He helps us then ignores us. It made sense that he was being careful, but really! Annoying, it was.
Throughout the day my thoughts were filled with the alternating cadence of worry, fear, and desperate but futile planning. Finally classes ended, and while Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei were in a control session, Heero and I were off in search of Howard, and by default, Sylvia. Ms. Une had given our class a new assignment, another group project. We were going to work on it while our friends were otherwise occupied, giving us all time together later to plot and plan and just plain hang out.
Puttering along, we knew that Howard would probably hanging out with Sylvia somewhere, and thus wouldn't be in his room. Therefore we were just wandering around. I wasn't talking, it didn't seem necessary as we walked along and enjoyed some time alone, just existing together, the two of us side by side. Eventually we did find Howard and Sylvia, sitting in one of the communal areas. Okay, so they were making out. But they were still sitting.
Heero nudged me and grinned slightly, then nodded his head at the two. Sylvia was sitting soundly on Howard's lap. His sunglasses were steamed up. They must have just had a fight and were in the process of making up. They were always doing that. Ah, young love.
Clearing my throat I just looked around innocently while whistling and tapping my foot. Heero leaned one arm across my shoulders, running his free hand through his messy bangs and pretending to concentrate on getting them in some semblance of order. Immediately the couple broke apart, fumbling and standing up quickly, staying about five feet from each other. Sylvia's face turned bright red, and Howard actually took of his steamed up sunglasses to wipe them off. He had hazel eyes.
"So, uh, hey guys. What's going on?" Howard said smoothly, sliding his glasses back on and trying to look nonchalant, failing miserably, too, I might add.
"We're here to work on that art project we discussed," I replied, raising my eyebrows. Then I grinned wickedly. "Or did you get too…distracted to remember?"
"Oh yeah, forgot about that for a minute there," he replied, sweating a little as he scratched the back of his head and glanced over at the girl beside him.
Sylvia finally composed herself, clearing her throat. "Well, let's get on with it. What exactly is the plan?"
Heero and I both looked at her oddly for that comment, it seemed to echo some sort of deeper intention. Sylvia just looked coolly back at us. The moment passed, and we sat around in the communal area, talking about the project. At one point Howard got up to go to the bathroom, leaving the three of us alone.
"We're going, you know, one by one," Sylvia suddenly said.
"What?" I asked for both Heero and I.
"One by one, they are terminating," she replied with difficulty.
"You mean, you are…you're in it too?" I whispered.
"My parents, like yours…" she said softly, her face suddenly lanced with pain, a spike of black rolling off of her aura.
"Why?" I asked, feeling numb.
She spoke slowly, obviously struggling to get the words out. "There's an information leak. Downsizing. They've found their perfect subjects."
Perfect subjects…us. My blood ran cold, turning to ice and freezing my heart.
"Tell me more," I asked quietly. Suddenly I felt a rush of subtle power along the connection the five of us shared, and I tapped into that special ability, Quatre's pain blocking. Concentrating, I managed to mold it slightly, filtering out Sylvia's ingrained reaction of pain out into her aura, where it just flaked off harmlessly. A look of amazement passed over her features for a second.
Maybe it was because the other guys were in session that I was able to do that, I reasoned at the time. This wasn't the case, but I didn't really care. I directed it at Sylvia, manipulating her aura and pain to also dampen the agony from resisting her blocks. Faintly, I could feel the pain from the use well up inside me, which I pushed out of my aura. Using Quatre's powers caused another one of us to hurt, and this time it was me, fortunately for the other guys. Weird how using his abilities myself sparked his blocks and not mine. Trying not to get distracted, I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. Bearing down again, I kept the power going despite the pain.
Blinking in surprise, Sylvia spoke quickly. "Your parents had an experiment, my father told me. It was the start of the research, this project, a genesis because of what they created with one of their early subjects. Then Dad was…killed. I was so young, I didn't understand what he was talking about. That is all I really know. I have no special abilities, but I know too much. I am a control experiment. The others, the variants, like you, are slowly being erased, either dissected or terminated, or having their minds wiped clean and used as perfect blank subjects, easy for imprinting and fodder for experimenting."
Finishing quickly, she nodded that she was done. Instantly I let loose of the manipulation of Quatre's borrowed power and my aura control over her pain. I felt drained and weak, my mind still thrumming from the traces of agony I had not been able to completely shed off. Mulling over Sylvia's words, I didn't even realize at the time that I had found a tiny loophole in our mental blocks. It was small, but it would lead to me finding the way around them completely.
More important in my mind at the time was Sylvia's reference to my parents. Surely she had been wrong. I knew she wasn't lying, so I desperately held onto the belief that she was somehow mistaken. They couldn't have started this whole mess, could they have? Well, rationally, I knew they very well could have, thus their termination. What subject was it? Who? I felt a sinking feeling. Surely it hadn't been Heero? Oh, God, the very idea made me light headed and sick. No. I refused to consider it.
And here Sylvia was, an innocent, like me, except she had no special abilities. How terrible for her. At least I got some cool powers out of the deal, she just got mental blocks and a one way trip to an insane asylum. Damn. And here I thought I had it tough.
Howard returned soon after that, but after a few minutes Heero just nodded politely at the couple and pulled me away. I was lost in thought (unfamiliar territory!) and had been staring off into space instead of talking and chattering. So Heero came to my rescue. We walked along, me thinking Deep Thoughts and Heero just hauling me along by my wrist. We never really touched or did anything couple-y in public, it just wasn't our way. Nobody's business but ours, ya know?
So Heero dragged me along, finally getting to a hallway that no one else was occupying, stopping, he looked carefully at me, silently asking me what was wrong with just tiny quirk of one eyebrow. I just shook my head, not saying anything, merely stepping forward, surprising him by hugging him here in public. I needed a little bit of comfort. My parents…guilt washed over me. No, Heero couldn't have been their genesis for this project. No.
I heard a wolf whistle and froze, jumping back quickly. Both of us turned in unison to see who had decided we were whistle worthy. Dorothy.
The nurse was waving at us, smiling widely. She genuinely looked happy to see us, obviously not caring that she had caught us in what might have been considered a slightly compromising position. Striding up, she clapped one hand on my shoulder and the other on Heero's.
"I haven't seen you two since that infestation in your room!" She exclaimed. "When are you moving back in, anyway?"
"We're not, they moved us to a room in another wing," I responded, managing to take control of the programmed response to a tiny degree. At least I wasn't flat out lying.
She just nodded. "Oh, well, I'll miss you guys. Ward hasn't been the same without you. How have other things been? I remember something odd was going on with you, is that cleared up yet?"
I felt a ripple of shock go through me. Back when they were just taking us back, she had helped us out with Quatre. I had forgotten. "Not really, but we're working on it," I replied truthfully, smiling.
"Hey, come with me for a second," Dorothy said, grabbing our arms and pulling us down the hallway before we could protest. "I want you to say hi to Relena. She's missed you, too. You know, Heero, she likes you especially. I think you remind her of her little brother."
So we let ourselves be led down the hallway. It's not like Dorothy is the type to take no for an answer, anyway. Fortunately we only had to go around the corner to catch up with Nurse Peacecraft. She was coming out a patient's room, clipboard in hand. When we rounded the corner of the corridor, she looked up and smiled. You know, the woman isn't half-bad if you can get her to stop feeling sorry for you.
"Hey, Lena, look who I found almost making out around the corner here!" Dorothy all but chirped.
I just rolled my eyes. The woman had no tact.
"Duo, Heero, how have you been?" She smiled, her gaze lingering on my silent partner for a split second too long.
Heero just nodded, and I mumbled that we were fine.
"That's good, we've wondered what you've been up to since you moved rooms," Nurse Peacecraft said, fiddling with her clipboard. "I can see that you've come out of your shell a bit, Heero. I'm very glad. And Duo, you seem much happier."
"Well, things are both much better and much worse," I replied, shrugging and tossing my braid over my shoulder. "You know how that goes."
"Yes, I do," she replied.
"Well, I'll take the next room, you three just chat or whatever," Dorothy said, snatching the clipboard playfully from Nurse Peacecraft's hands. She turned and disappeared into the next room.
"Hey, Nurse?" I asked quietly. "Remember that time we were talking about your brother?"
"Yes," she replied, a shadow crossing her face.
"Have you seen his ashes? He was cremated, right?" I asked, trying to utter the words around my suddenly dry mouth. I felt terrible asking her about what was so obviously a painful subject.
"I actually have his remains, my parents sort of left them to me when they passed away," Nurse Peacecraft replied. "Why?"
"Just wondering," I replied, trying to think of some reason for my question. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to see them. You know how they never really told me, I never got to say goodbye."
She looked at me for a long moment. "That's so sweet, thank you for your concern about him. Just come by our nurses' station tomorrow, I'll bring them up."
I nodded. Then Dorothy came back out the room, announced that it was almost time for dinner and she was starving. As she dragged Nurse Peacecraft off with her, she called over her shoulder that we should bring the other guys and visit them sometime. Then they were gone.
Heero just looked at me, slightly confused. He scribbled a note for me.
--Why did you ask about her brother? Isn't Zechs her brother?--
"Yes, he is," I replied, folding the slip of paper up. "I'm going to try and guilt him into admitting it. Something about the guy just isn't right, and I want to see if it's something we can exploit to get out of here."
Heero nodded, understanding. Somehow we both knew that Zechs was a piece of the puzzle.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next day, Friday, we had free period, which we spent it in our rooms, trying desperately to finish little assignments that had somehow managed to escape our attention. At one point I decided to go for a little walk, just to get away from my literature assignment. I'm against censorship and destruction of classic literature and that sort of stuff, but some books are so boring that they should be burned. Argh, of course, I'm joking. You know what I mean, I'm sure. Some books are just…unreadable in their artsy-ness. So before I went out of my mind for real, I took a stroll down the hallway, enjoying the thick carpet under my bare feet.
Right as I reached the end of the hallway by the door to the lab, I turned around, closing my eyes and burying my toes down into the deep pile of the carpet. Sighing in momentary bliss, I was caught completely by surprise when a strong hand grabbed my sleeve and yanked me into Mr. Khushrenada's little unmonitored session room.
As soon as the door slammed behind me, I whirled on my attacker, intent on either yelling at them or smacking them. Instead I just blinked. Mariemeia stood before me, her small fists digging into her hips as she grinned at me.
"Got ya, didn't I?" she asked, smirking.
"Um, no," I replied, wondering why she had pulled me in here.
The redheaded girl strode with inherited family grace to sit in the padded chair, leaving the folding one to me. Curious to know what the girl was up to, I sat down, crossing my arms over my chest and looking calmly at her. Well, I tried to look calm, at any rate. It was a valiant effort.
"Yes, I did get you," she replied. "Do you know that we're the only ones left of the variants, you five and I? Interesting, isn't it? The prized pupils and a boss's kid. How typical."
"The other subjects?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.
"They are dead. Father let me see the bodies, floating in tanks in the cryolab. They took out their brains, you know. Going to do nasty things with them. Makes me glad that I have connections," Mariemeia replied, curling a lock of hair back behind one delicate ear.
"That's terrible," I answered, a little disbelieving how flippantly she passed off the lives of the others.
She just shrugged. "Why should I care? You're part of the strong group, if they had come up to par they would be alive. I myself am another success, because of my mother's ambition. She's dead, too, you understand. Poor Father, dragged into all this because of me." She giggled, not sounding concerned at all.
"A lot of people have been forced into this, haven't they?" I just asked, leaning back in my little chair.
"Oh, yes. Many," she answered.
"Why did you yank me in here? Just to chat about death and such pleasantries?" I finally snapped out, sick of her uncaring attitude.
"You need to listen to those that you trust," she replied, suddenly serious. Leaning forward, she put both hands on my shoulders. "There is always a way around a wall, you just have to find it. Remember, just because someone tells you the brutal truth doesn't mean that they aren't telling a complete lie in the same breath. It's a brilliant technique, a distraction thrown up only by the most cunning."
Suddenly her gaze shifted from me to over my shoulder. I felt the change in air pressure of the door being opened.
"Zechs, hello," Mariemeia said, releasing my shoulders.
"Hi, looking for your father?" the tall blond asked.
"Not here, I'll let him know you're trying to find him, though," she replied, then brushed past him out the door.
Zechs looked down at me curiously. "Duo, what are you doing in here?"
"It's not important," I replied. Then I had a great idea. "Will you come with me to see the ashes of Milliardo Peacecraft? Nurse Peacecraft has brought them for me to see, you know to pay my last respects."
Unadulterated shock shot off of him in a wave that almost knocked me down. "Nurse Peacecraft? Relena? Here? What?"
"Yes, you know, Nurse Relena Peacecraft. Nice lady, misses her dead brother," I said, my eyes staring straight up into his. "What do you care about some dead guy? You're Zechs Marquise, right? Never heard of Milliardo Peacecraft, right?"
Gaping at me, he stared at me, infinite sadness filling his eyes. His gaze dropped to the floor as his head bowed, long platinum strands obscuring his pained expression. "Right."
Without another word I walked past him and out into the hallway. I almost ran into Otto in my haste.
Recoiling back, I looked up at the tall orderly. He blinked down at me, then looked over my head at Zechs. Finally I was able to place that odd spark of loyalty that always ran off of the man. It was connecting him with Zechs.
Shaken by my confrontation, I just turned and ran down the hall and back into the refuge of our room. Shutting the door behind me firmly, I leaned against it, panting more out of stress than from physical exertion. Taking in the odd looks I was receiving, I just waved my hand in a dismissive gesture.
"I'll tell you later."
And I did.
~ ~ ~ ~
That night I lay in a comfortable tangle of limbs and sheets, lying awake far after the others fell into deep sleeps. So much new information had bombarded me, and even though we had discussed it all together, I knew that of everyone I had the best chance of figuring this all out. I'm not being conceited, not at all, it's just that if my parents were involved, and this had been going on for so long, then I probably had some sort of chance of figuring it out, an edge. Unlike Heero, who also would have had a good chance, I didn't have nearly as many blocks on my mind stopping me. Besides, I had this gut feeling that there was something that only I would be able to happen upon, a quirk in my abilities or something similar. Maybe it was that basic human desire to be important, to be special, but I had a hunch.
Unable to sleep, I mulled over the last few days. Sylvia's words about my parents kept surfacing in my mind, for instance. Something about that was bugging me, and not just her reference to the "genesis" of the project. I had a feeling that this was something of the utmost importance. Somehow I needed to find out more about that, and about my parents. The more information I had, the better I would be able to discern a way around everything and give us a ghost of a chance.
My mind drifted from one blonde girl to another, my consciousness coming to focus on my visit with Nurse Peacecraft this afternoon. As I had promised, I had come by to see Milliardo's "remains." As I stared at the unassuming little urn, I couldn't help but feel slightly haunted. It was odd, I felt true sorrow for my old friend. Not grief for his loss of life, but intense anguish for his loss of freedom, his free will, his mind. After a few minutes of staring at the urn, I had just nodded to the young nurse and left, letting her think that I was quiet because of my grief. Actually I was deep in thought, picturing the young face of my old roommate over the face of the man that helped the doctors torture us. The man was an enigma.
Zechs' stuttered words and haunted facial expression then filled my mind, looking so shocked and so hurt, so torn. Was it possible that he didn't know his sister was working here? Did it bother him that much to have her so close, yet so far away? The flicker of resigned suffering that had passed over his face and rippled through his aura was genuine, I knew that. Of course, there always seemed to be a deep sorrow, an indecisive air that followed Zechs around like the smell of cheap cologne. It was as though he knew more than he was letting on, but still somehow working with the bad guys. The guy confused me.
And Otto…that was another confusing matter, his whole role in all of this. Otto was loyal to Zechs, that much was obvious. Now that I thought about it, I hadn't seen Otto around until after Zechs had saved me from Mueller that first time when we had discovered the disguised metal door to the labs. Had Zechs sent a guardian for us? It seemed so at odds, but just so him…another wrinkle to the tall blond's personality. But the scientists didn't know about Mueller and his threat to us, J had said as much. Therefore Zechs must have been keeping it from them. I had believed J when he said they didn't know, because that actually made sense, they would have gotten the guy fired rather than have me set off. And besides, J was so brutally honest…
Mariemeia's words came to me then. Brutal honesty distracting from the lies that it lay alongside them, the truth and the lie right next to each other. J was so honest, so blunt…was it possible he was also lying through his teeth? Would it be possible for him to have been lying about the absolute nature of our mental blocks? We had all managed to flitter around the blocks before, maybe it could be done again with out taking the whole colony with us. Wouldn't that be stupid, anyway? They wouldn't want to die along with the crazies, nor kill everyone on the colony. Think of the scandal, the loss of research and information they'd suffer, too. I felt something nag at the back of my mind about that. I was missing something.
The strange nagging sensation continued to burrow in the back of my mind, ghosting at the edge of my slowing thoughts as I finally started to drift off. The only certainty I actually felt after all my introspection was that there was hope, a way around the blocks. As I felt my heart slow and heard my breath fall into a steady rhythm, my last thought before sleep was that there was a way. And then I was falling into unconsciousness.
~ ~ ~ ~
The falling sensation I felt only intensified as I fell into a state of full sleep. Drifting and falling, I felt a strange awareness, an alien and new impression rising in my head. It wasn't like the visions Heero had shown me before, it was a new dream, a vision of my own creation. It sprang forth from the depths of my subconscious, my memories, and my buried intuition.
I stopped falling after a while, and the black around me shifted slightly to take on a dark brown hue. I felt as though I was sitting comfortably on thin air, and as a reddish light suddenly flared up, I could see that I was sitting on top of a clear barrier.
Leaning forward, I crawled up to rest on my knees. As the light got brighter, the comfortable temperature of the atmosphere started to rise sharply. Looking down through the barrier, I saw my four friends lying on their backs, arms crossed over their chests. Serenity and pain mixed on their faces to create a paradox of emotion. Their eyes were closed, and it appeared as though they were trapped in a dream, perhaps a nightmare.
I pressed my hands down onto the cool clear barrier, their ceiling and my floor, and I just looked for a moment. Their auras were flaring up behind them, underneath them. Wings of mixing colors appeared to be folded behind them, but it appeared as though there were shackles holding them down. A silver thread ran from each of their sternums, joining together at a point above them in a knot. With a small stab of shock I realized that I too had a silver cord running out of my solar plexus and joining with theirs. A connection. Our connection.
As the air started to bake around me, I nibbled on my lower lip. I had to get them out of there, they'd be cooked alive in that glass room. The light around me was looking more and more like dancing flames, and the brown nothingness was being quickly consumed. Closing my eyes for a moment, I wondered if there was someway into the box I was perched upon.
A current ran through me, and then a blue slender lock appeared in the clear barrier beside my hand. It looked to be made of some sort of tubing, with a funnel shaped keyhole in the center. If there was a keyhole, there was a key. Oddly enough, it reminded me of the muck-machine.
Looking around frantically in the fiery light, I finally looked back down through the glass. Reflected in the surface was my face, and the orange and red light danced around my reflection. I honestly wasn't sure why I was dreaming of fire, maybe it was metaphorical or something. Maybe it was a remnant of the last vision Heero and I had shared. Maybe it was a premonition. I found it odd that I was suddenly taking a time out in my dream to analyze myself. Kooky.
Bringing my attention back to the present I finally decided to just whack the living hell out of the lock. Making a tight fist, I drew back and punched the tubing and the funnel of the lock. When it broke, a dark energy flooded out and around me, but the glass below me did not open. Angry, I used the released energy around me and honed it to a knife's edge, driving down in frustrated passion at the barrier itself.
Immediately it tore into a million pieces, and too late did I realize the barrier could potentially cut my prone friends into tiny little bloody pieces. In the blink of an eye I was underneath the falling glass, and I spread my aura out.
Catching the tiny sharp shards in my expanded aura, my feathering little spirit wings were almost cut to shreds. Gritting my teeth against the pain, I managed to redirect the remains of the barrier away, flinging them into the fire. That done, I sank down to my knees and tried to recover. A last little twist of effort and I was able to free the shackles that held their spirit wings down. Now they were free.
But no, I still wasn't done. The flames were almost upon us, we were about to die if I didn't do something quickly. I had to wake them up to finish freeing them. Grabbing the knot of silver string that held us together, I concentrated on the connection, severing my string from theirs. My blocks relied on the connection to cause real pain to them, my only true concern at the moment. Without that hindrance I could strike out. And I did.
The flames died away quickly, but I felt agony course through my soul. Concentrating, I harnessed its dark power and managed to dull its edge, pushing it out of the edges of my aura. It was incredibly painful. I survived. But I didn't.
Too weak to reconnect my string, I felt the life seep out of my aura, my body. Faintly as my eyes closed again in my dream, I heard murmuring voices surround me. I was so alone in that moment, I didn't realize that I had been relying so long on the connection to keep my hope alive.
To break the barriers on our minds, I had essentially killed myself. But it had been done. I had succeeded in my goal.
~ ~ ~ ~
My eyes flew open in the dark room, and I felt like crying and laughing at the same time. I had it! I could break the bonds. I knew the way. If I could sever my connection with the others, they wouldn't feel the pain of me breaking through the mental blocks. It would kill me, but I could also snap their bonds away while I was at it. My dream had told me that much.
Along with elation came fear. I didn't really want to die anymore, after all. In the vision I had wrecked my aura, and thus, my soul. Would my soul be torn apart if I tried to break through the blocks? Not a pleasant thought. Soul fragments would undoubtedly be chewed and devoured by all manners of small beasts, tiny scavengers of the spirit world. I'm sorry, but I don't want to be someone's dinner. The very idea kind of freaks me out. Of course, before too long it might be the only option. We'll see.
But at the time I was so torn. So that's what would happen. I was willing to trust my subconscious, so I knew that there was a way around the blocks without tearing apart the entire colony. I'd have to do it myself, though. I didn't want to risk the others.
I was the key, it seemed. That was my importance. I could sacrifice myself, I thought. Perhaps that was what Zechs had meant when he said I had great potential. I was wrong about that, mostly, but I was on the right track. At least, I think I was.
Then I realized that in the dream I had used abilities that I wasn't sure any of us had. Throughout the control sessions, I had noticed that my role as an observer and guide for the others seemed to be my biggest, most useful power. It only occurred to me now that I had also been slowly but continually improving, not just gaining more control as the other guys had been. I was still evolving outside of the lab. If the scientists did not know that, then of course I would have the potential to kick some serious ass. This would only stay true, though, if we could avoid other growth sessions. I'd have to be able to grow stronger without them realizing it they couldn't block the abilities or the unchecked growth. That meant that we'd have to make a break for freedom very soon.
If I had grown just enough to free the others, then I felt as though my life would have been well spent. My solo abilities were strong, I didn't need a guide to really harness my new powers. This was fortunate, because I didn't want to drag anyone down in the pain that would surely kill me.
I was the key to our escape. I could free them, and if it killed me, I didn't care. One thing floated through my mind, though. I'd have to destroy that machine. I needed the ethereal energy it gathered to break the barriers. If I used the energy in such a way, then it wouldn't tear apart the colony or hurt anyone. It was a boost I needed. The dream had showed me. All the remained were how and when.
I drifted back into sleep, this time dreaming no more. Dream demons had ceased to bother me.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next morning was Saturday, thank God. I was able to pull the other guys out and away to the hollow tree right after breakfast. Spilling out my idea to them, I waited for the onslaught of criticism that was to surely pick apart my vague plan. After all, I only had an obscure sort of grasp on the notion myself. Instead of having it discarded, though, we changed it around, molding it to as close to perfect as we could get it.
"So let me get this straight, you want to smash the machine, harness the power it filters, and then break down our mental blocks?" Quatre summarized.
"But first you're going to sever your link to the rest of us," Wufei added. He didn't sound happy with the idea. I don't blame him, it didn't sound very safe for me. I had left out the part about not expecting to survive the plan, by the way.
Heero handed me a note to read out loud.
--Don't like this. You're hiding something.--
"Yes, there is something that you are not telling us," Trowa agreed.
"Well, uh, it might tear apart my soul," I finally stammered out, knowing full well I couldn't lie to my family or my love. I hate lying.
"Oh, is that all?" Wufei asked sarcastically, then turned serious. "Then let's just scrap the whole thing. It's not worth your death."
"We do need to act, soon, though," Trowa said. "Time is indeed running out."
"Now look, Duo's plan is good. It just needs to be modified a bit, thought out. I'm sure that there is a way for him to survive this," Quatre broke in, biting his lip.
"I don't mind dying," I stated, completely serious.
"Yeah, well, what if we mind you dying? Do you think we want your death? How can you think such a thing?" Wufei asked me, his dark eyes glittering in the dull gloom of the hollow wood.
I just stared down at my folded legs, fiddling with the slightly ragged hem of my pants. They were a little bit too long for me and were worn from dragging on the ground. "I don't know what I think."
"Maybe you can destroy the machine while still connected," Quatre said after a pause. "If you sneak down there alone, smash it, then filter the energy into yourself, I'm sure we can divide the pain between us until you can reach us. We can wait out here for you, and when you are physically beside us, you can do the rest. That way if you're too weak afterwards, we can heal you or at least carry you with us while we escape. Do you think that you would survive if we did it that way?"
"I don't know," I replied doubtfully. Could they hold long enough for me to get out there? That's what really concerned me. Exploding brains = BAD
"Look, I can take care of our pain slightly, reroute it a tiny bit. I can do that even when the blocks are in place, at least, a bit. Wufei can take care of actual physical damage done on whoever gets the bad part of the deal from me using my ability," Quatre continued, turning to look at Wufei. "That is, if you don't mind."
"But won't that cause pain for someone else if I use my ability?" Wufei asked.
"Oh, yeah," the blond boy replied, looking a bit sheepish.
"Look, I can handle the ethereal power from the machine, manipulate it a bit. I can reach through the connection and borrow a bit off your rerouting trick on the pain to get it to exit me through my aura," I said thoughtfully. "It will hurt me, but I think that the jag of pain will actually give me a bit more control over the darker bits of energy."
"Then the only question remains, when will we carry this plan out?" Trowa asked after a silence.
Heero passed me a note.
--Tomorrow. The scientists will start other experiments soon, we must act before that happens.--
And so it was decided, in less than twenty four hours we were going to make our bid for freedom.
The conversation changed from that point on while we worked on the particulars, the little details of the plan. We decided that we'd have to leave Sylvia and Mariemeia behind, even if they were subjects too. Sylvia they probably wouldn't get rid of quickly since she was the control, and Mariemeia's connections through her father would probably save her.
And then there was the matter with my parents. I had to find out about how this started. We decided that we'd have to research that later, perhaps by Heero delving us through time once he got good enough to do so. I wasn't sure that I'd like what we found, but it felt monumentally important. It was to wait until we had escaped.
Speaking of escape, we planned to levitate over the fences. If the others gained full control, it would be easy. I truly did not expect to survive that long, but I put on a brave face and actively participated on the finer details of the later stages of the break out. Perhaps something would happen to save me. I didn't believe it for a second, but I could pretend.
After we got out, we planned to go to the media. With full control of our powers, or, I should say, when the others had control, it would be easy to convince people of our story. All Wufei would have to do is utter a few words about a reporter's death parent, or have Heero grab something out of time. Quatre could block someone's pain, or Wufei could heal someone. Trowa could…do something. I don't know. The possibilities were endless, and it would be necessary to blow the lid off of the terrible project and its secret. We had to end it, it felt like our duties. And so our plan was formed.
Of course, things rarely go well as they are planned.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next morning we rose from bed extremely apprehensive and jagged with anticipation. Going about our normal business as we prepared to leave for breakfast was sheer torture. We were going to try and break out right after dinner that night before the bed checks. At that point there were less guards on duty, and hopefully it would be easier for us to get away. We didn't want to hurt anyone. Our timeline was discussed and planned yesterday in our hollow haven.
I myself felt numb as the day progressed, knowing that I was going to die today. Rather than spend time with the other kids, we subtly started transporting little bits and pieces of things away to the hollow tree. Heero brought a couple of notepads and pencils, I scrounged up some extra flashlight batteries, just in case, and the others concentrated on sneaking out extra underwear and stuff like that. It was hard to do get this done because of the constant surveillance we were under, not only to look nonchalant, but to stash our things. Nerve wracking as hell, let me tell you.
And so dinner rolled around, and of course we ate. Sitting in a deserted hallway, it was incredibly hard to keep up our conversation without falling into deep, meaningful silences. We had to appear normal, well, as normal as we could. Oh the trials of our lives. I lament. Really. If I had known we'd end up here, trapped, not hours later, then I would have cherished the forced cheer, the comfort of the air conditioning and the cool linoleum underneath my bottom as I munched on what was probably my last meal.
Right as we were eating our lovely cherry flavored (well, red, at least) gelatin desserts, I felt a presence at the end of the hallway. Looking up, I was surprised to see Mr. Khushrenada walking towards us. It was rare that I really saw him outside of the classroom or the lab areas, outside of the sessions we had. It made me blink a few times.
"Hello, gentlemen," He said, stopped about five feet away from our little circle of trays and plates. It was obvious he had a reason for coming here.
I quickly stood up, as did the other guys. Something heavy seemed to be hanging in the air.
"Hi," I responded, swallowing hard.
"How are you on distance, Duo?" Mr. Khushrenada asked, cutting right to the point.
"What?" I was confused.
"On control, does distance matter?" He restated, looking pointedly at me. "This is important to your plans for this evening."
A cold splash of shock hit my face, trickling down my spine. "I'm good," I replied, my mouth suddenly feeling parched. How did he know?
"Good, then I will be of service to you," Trieze smiled. "You can stay as a group, I will take care of the matters you needed to attend to here."
He was offering to take care of the machine!
"But won't you get hurt?" Quatre asked, stepping up beside me.
"I have a means of protection," the tall man replied, smiling faintly. At the end of the corridor stood Mariemeia, who was rolling her eyes as she leaned against the wall.
"Thank you," Wufei said quietly.
"Go quickly and be prepared for anything," Trieze just responded, nodding politely.
So we hurried away, putting our trays back in the cafeteria and scooting outside. The entire time I was tensed and ready for the onslaught of dark energy to flare up, my senses kicking into overdrive in preparation. Walking quickly, trying hard not to run, we finally reached the stand of trees that held the hollow one we frequented so much. Crawling inside to reach our things, a sudden thump on the outside of the bark caused us to freeze within the brown wooden confines.
Someone was outside.
In a panic, I poked my head out. Out of nowhere there was a team of Thugs and meds from the lab. Among the men stood a depressed looking Zechs Marquise, flanked by an equally upset Otto. J was among those gathered behind the largest grouping of Thugs. I felt my heart sink within my chest. Had Treize betrayed us? How could they have known otherwise? A tranquilizer dart hit the wood an inch from my head. Yelping, I ducked back inside.
"They've found out! They're outside!" I all put shrieked in panic.
Working together we managed to block the entrance with one of our thickest blankets. Ever so often someone would stick their head inside, and Heero would slice at them with my old razor blades. I brought them out here to take with us out of a sense of sick nostalgia. The Thugs couldn't stick their end of their tranquilizer rifles in, either, because we'd already grabbed one and yanked it out of their hands. We were in a stand off.
"Give up!" J's voice suddenly came from outside the entrance.
"Fuck you!" Wufei shouted back.
That seemed to end negotiations. Imagine that.
And that's when I started to write this, trying to record everything that has happened. Perhaps we can hide it somewhere in here so that someone someday will find it and know the truth. I still don't know how they found out our plan, I suppose it's not important. Maybe this tree has been bugged the whole time, after all, Milliardo did show it too me all those years ago.
I feel so hopeless.
It's been about five hours, and we're growing rapidly more and more tired. I wonder just how long they will wait on us. Will they let us starve to death?
I don't know.
I'm scared.
We're huddled together, I have barely enough room write this down. My hand is aching, full of tiny burning cramps. The spare batteries I brought for the flashlight are dying, the beam is getting dimmer and dimmer.
Did Trieze betray us, or has he been captured, too? Was Mariemeia's words about continued trust just a push for us to do what the man suggested? I don't know.
Ever so often someone outside will call out to us. They're getting more and more threatening. Quatre and Trowa are all but wrapped around each other, staring alternatively at the entrance, then at me. Meiran is almost sitting inside of Wufei, who is huddled up between Heero and Trowa. I'm on the end, writing this. Heero has his arms around my waist and is watching me write. It breaks my heart that I've never heard his voice outside of a vision. I'm starting to believe that I'm going to die inside the brown smooth confines of this hollow tree. Our haven has become our prison. This feels familiar for some reason, the soft brown that surrounds us.
The flashlight beam just died. I'm barely able to see the paper now. I've filled up two and a half notebooks already. Damn. No wonder my hand hurts.
Oh…no. They're threatening us again. They've had it, they say.
What's that smell?
Suddenly I feel a bit warm…
OH GOD THE TREE IS ON FIRE!
THEY'RE TR
~ ~ ~ ~