Asylum: Part 13

By: Spooks

~ ~ ~ ~

Ack! Right when I am in the middle of a sentence Heero yanks my arm and pulls me out of the now burning tree. I frantically try to grab my notebooks (not Heero's anymore, I guess, since I've been writing all over them) as I'm forcibly dragged out. I am getting this flashback of Heero's written note…

--I'm not sure about the future. I can only see so far, and that vision is what appears to be deadly. There is fire. We are all there. Then it ends. I cannot see further.--

Oh, wonderful! Are we about to die? As the other guys scrambled out of the small opening, they join Heero and I in the no-sane-man's land between the blazing tree and the big guys with tranquilizer guns. As we watch, huddled together in the artificial darkness of the colony's night, I imagine that the small inferno must be visible all over the entire colony. At least, it should. Our last sanctuary, our final hope, feels like it is being consumed by the flickering fire that is eating away at our poor innocent tree. The least people can do is see it burn away.

God, I never thought a place would mean this much to me. I as in as much shock watching our refuge be destroyed as I think I've felt throughout this whole ordeal. And that is really saying something.

It just plain hurts.

The last parts of the dry wood are now consumed, and a few of the big guys come forward to douse the burning rubble with some chemical spray, leaving a small but fierce fire burning in a pile of charred ashes. I wonder when they got here. Just how long were we holed up in that tree, anyway, that they brought reinforcements? My poor aching hand cramps against my stack of notebooks.

As we pay our last respects to the hot ashes of the tree and our only remaining real hope, I hear a chuckle behind us. The whole time the tree had been on fire we kept our backs to the men, staunchly refusing to acknowledge them until the tree was completely gone. Finally we turn as one, and we stare at our wardens with hateful and crying eyes. Yeah, I'm crying. Not ashamed of it, either. If you had just went through such an emotional roller coaster, if you had thought that freedom was only an hour away, if you had just had your hopes incinerated before your eyes, then you might know how we feel. We have a lot to cry about at the moment.

"Ah, good, we finally have you out," J is saying, his voice full of smug glee.

Have I ever mentioned that I absolutely hate that guy?

In response to J's unnecessary little taunt, we just move closer to each other, standing in a tighter huddle and staring even more defiantly at the ugly little man. The fierce anger and determination that is spiking off of us is daunting, and despite all the pain I am proud to have these four at my back.

Now Zechs is stepping forward, shooting a glance at J. Otto looks downright worried, looking from us to the tranquilizer guns and back again, finally shifting his gaze away focusing on Zechs. The tall blond man is speaking quietly to J. The doctor just nods, and now he's gesturing to the guys with the guns.

A barrage of tiny colored tranquilizer darts fly out of the barrels of the guns, soft whooshes piercing through the crackling noise that is still coming from the dying fire. They pierce our skin in multiple places, stinging as they pump their dosage of drugs into our veins. I can feel the burning in my muscles as I struggle to remain standing, and I'm trying weakly to pull out any darts I can reach from the skin of my friends, but they are dropping to the ground now, too far gone for me to help.

I am now the only one still conscious, and as I sink to my knees I realize that I'm still clutching my scribbled history of our torturous experiments to my chest? I wonder how have I managed to keep a hold of these. It's the only thing from the tree we were able to salvage, I guess because I had been so damn stubborn about grabbing them. Yes, that must be it.

I hit the ground, falling on my side so that none of the darts jamb up into the soft tissues of my flesh. Now my vision is dimming, and through my watery eyes I can see Meiran sobbing over us, her hands trying hopelessly to shake Wufei.

I'm not completely gone yet, though. I'm just coherent enough to watch as J laboriously limps his way over to stand in front of me. He's speaking now, from far away, and a pair of hands is yanking at the notebooks still clutched to my heart. Finally they are tugged from my limp arms, and J is flipping through them, reading and scanning my hastily scribbled words.

Now the world is soundless, and my vision has almost completely receded into black nothing. Right as I'm fading out, though, I see J drop my journal, my life poured out onto paper…he drops it on the ground a few feet away from my staring eyes. He laughs, and then a man is throwing a match on my papers. My life in flames.

They are immediately taken by the small fire. My life's words, my chronicle, are nothing but ashes. I would scream, stand up, and stomp out the flames, but I'm too weak. Too weak…all I can do as I fade away…the image of my burning notebooks imprints into my mind…searing image…all I can do is cry.

~ ~ ~ ~

I wake up groggy, the world slowly draining back into awareness as I blink open my eyes. I reach up to rub at them, to rub away the daze, but I cannot move my arms. Confused, I force my eyes to look down at my restrained arms. Somehow I am not surprised.

Allowing a small groan to escape from my lips, I turn my head. Immediately the world is swimming around me, and I feel nausea creep up and announce its presence in the back of my throat. An aftereffect of the tranquilizers, I think. Dizzy, but determined, I force myself to deal with the unpleasantness and continue to look around.

Once again we are in a large gray room, and once again we are strapped to chairs. It was just like that time they had stuck the needles in the tops of our heads and made our minds grow as no human's were ever meant to. The only difference now was that one of the walls had a clear viewing port, through which I could see random bustling lab-people rushing back and forth.

The other guys look as though they have been awake for a few minutes, and four sets of defeated eyes watch as I struggle briefly with my restraints. Grinning weakly back at everyone, I wish I could say something to lighten the mood just a little. My throat is too dry for me to speak, however. Another aftereffect of the tranquilizers, I guess. My mouth might as well be stuffed with sour tasting cotton balls. Yuck.

Above me I can see the curling and twisting energy being drained and gathered and taken away to the machine. That reminds me…Trieze. Has he betrayed us, or has he been captured? I busy myself with these thoughts rather than risk dwelling on what happened at the tree….what happened to my words. I can't believe that they are both gone. I feel as though a part of me is dead now, my past all burned up into a neat little crisp of ashes and embers. God, it sucks. But hey, I'm not thinking about that, no, no I'm not. Thinking about other things, yes indeed. I'm not dwelling on the great loss of my testament or our only remaining haven, and I'm not even thinking about our loss of hope. Nope. Not feeling like bursting out into tears either. No, not in the slightest bit do I feel like squalling like a baby. Sure.

I close my eyes, refusing to think at all.

After a long moment of roaring silence, a squeal of feedback invades the room. God, can't they get control of that frickin' speaker? They're scientists for crying out loud! You'd think they would get on that at some point! How hard could it be? Damn.

"I must admit, that was a brilliant plan of escape, my boys," J's voice crackles through the air. "But alas, since we had your precious tree bugged, we knew all about it."

Finally I agree with myself that opening my eyes again will be okay, so I do so. Through the glass portal I can see J's insidiously grinning face. To my utter jaw-dropping shock, I notice that he is beside by a tense looking Mr. Khushrenada. The tall man is staring down at the ground, and he looks as though he wishes he could just disappear. On the other side of J stands Zechs, who is also staring twin lasers at the ground. Ever so often, however, he looks over at Trieze, his expression unreadable, his face kind of twitchy. Behind the group stands Otto, whose gaze is, of course, fixed on Zechs. The guy has some sort of infatuation.

Then Trieze, no Mr. Khushrenada, looks up, and his gaze settles immediately on me, fusing his steady eyes with my angry stare. Swallowing hard, I manage to work up enough saliva in the back of my throat to allow me to speak. Or rather, I intend to throw insults.

"How could you?" I whisper, struggling against the raspy sound in my throat. I sound like a snake-man. Oh, and okay, so it wasn't an insult. I'm so angry right now that I can barely think straight, never mind come up with some truly jagged barbs.

"Bah, it was all part of my plans," J mutters dismissively. "Now we're going to have to punish you."

"How?" Trowa asks, his voice not sounding as raspy as mine. No fair!

"More growth, coupled with intense training to hold down your abilities unless we call for them," J answers. "No more of this letting you mingle with the outsiders, no more classes. You will stay back here under constant watch and constant training. I was far too lenient before."

Oh right. He calls himself lenient? Good lord. I wonder what he's been smoking?

A moment later the door is opening, and in steps the tall bald man from the first growth session. He's rolling a metallic stand inside, an equally metallic gray box perched on top of it. Like the one from our last growth session, the box has five long cords sprouting from a hole on the top, and at each end of the cords is a long metal needle, just with no electrode appendages this time. I shiver at the sight of the long gleaming spikes, remembering how the cold steel felt as it entered the top of my head and sank down through the folds of my brain.

One by one the bald man eases the spikes into our craniums, again saving me for last. Nothing like anticipation! A wince flickers over my face as the cool metal guides itself into my brain, and I am feeling a sort of numb pressure against the inside walls of my skull as my brains move aside and make room for the cold intruding needle.

Gross.

As soon as the bald man closes the door the box hums to life. Vibrations travel up the length of the cords and though the spikes, jolting our brains. My back arches off of the chair and I'm straining against my bonds, not in pain, but as though I am numbly electrocuted. Courses of energy pulse through me, and it is radically different from when the first growth was induced.

This time I feel portions of my brain crackle with energy, being sparked to life within the confines of my skull. My vision is literally exploding with colorful optical reactions to the new activity in my mind, and my limbs are twitching and convulsing violently of their own accord. My vision is now multi-layered and coming to me from five points of view simultaneously, stained with the perceptions of five people connected and linked together.

And now things are flashing before me, ghosts, spirits, demons, times, all assaulting me quickly and fading away again before I can focus on any single one of them. Now they return, staying this time, crowding my sight with their presence and overlapping everywhere. I can see these things, all of them. For some reason I feel as though they are now mine to see, to watch. A burst of pride, a burst of affection. It does not feel like a borrowed ability now, I am in possession of these skills, but they are enhanced by the link between us.

Also with the sight is the coming of the sound. Thousands of voices whisper all around me, some confused, others happy, and still more terrified. I can hear the songs of chanting demons and creatures and see their accompanying dances. Glorious.

Oh, and the connection is back, full force and better than before, demanding my attention at the front of my mind. I do not think of myself as an individual as much as a "we" at this moment. This will have to be managed later, but the openness is beautiful in a way that can only be experienced, not described. Perhaps the scientists are right. I cannot believe I just thought that, but if eventually we are all connected, all humans, in such a way, then how can there be war? How could there be prejudice? The seed idea is a good one, the methods for growing it is the evil.

The box just slowed in its humming, winding slowly down with an audible ethereal sigh. The filters above us are cranked up to maximum, and even though I gather myself to strike out I know it will be in vain. Nevertheless I reach within my brain and pull out a power, then try to hit someone, something. Of course the outward sign of my attempt, the whitish blue outburst of psychic energy, well, it's floating up towards the ceiling. Great.

Now the walls are thrumming with power, peels of calming manipulative energy rippling off of them like waves in a pool of water. As I feel the wonderful peace and freedom of the new growth and the full connection recede with the rising vibrations of the wall, I find myself glaring hatefully at Trieze. Why did he betray us? Why didn't he shut off that damn thing? It was blocking us away again, knocking us down in order to allow the scientists to put more control on our minds later, and walling us away as an exhibit, a sideshow.

Trieze just looks back at me, cool conviction in his eyes. Then a tiny sparkle seems to ripple off of his aura, and he shifts his glaze from me to Zechs.

Following the man's eyes, I too focus on Zechs. The tall blond has just nodded back at the other man and now has closed his eyes. I see a shot of energy jump off of him and away, and a circle of protective psychic energy bubbles around Trieze, Otto, and Zechs himself.

The walls stop vibrating. The machine has been turned off. The box is still humming slightly. The machine is off. It's off.

With the ceasing of the machine's control, the energy in the room settles back down to its natural state, thriving and swirling as it may please. For a moment it is completely still, I'm waiting for the backlash of energy, but it never comes. I realize why almost immediately. I had already seen the reverse of the machine happen, it had been so subtle I had missed it. Because of the filtration system in place already and because the energy was converted to muck, there really wasn't that much left or actually accumulating in the machine. I feel stupid for a moment.

But here is the real kicker…something I just realize with a suddenly free feeling that lifts me up and makes me want to cry out…

The blocks have all but vanished with the ceasing of the machine.

That's right, the blocks had been reinforced the entire time by the filtering machine. That's why we had been able to discuss so much out in the tree, it was under less influence and less control than the rest of the asylum. As it all falls into place in my mind I sneak a glance at Zechs, and he just grins slightly and strengthens his barrier around the other two men and himself.

Understanding floods me. I turn my attention down to the straps holding me down and in a bare instant they simply vanish, gone into some unknown oblivion. Likewise, I feel a duality, or well, a five-ality, I guess, as the same happens with the other guys. Of same mind and state, we converse in a flurry of words and thoughts that I could not separate into individual ideas, not even my own. Quick exchange in the blink of the mind.

Anger.

Now we strike out, uncontrolled and unfocused, but still very effective. Our minds are roving, seeking those that forced us to do this, traveling all over the lab area. Once we corral those minds into psychic group, we hammer down, not really sure of what we are doing as we beat upon those that almost killed our minds. We don't want to murder anyone, but we want to cause a lot of pain. Sweet and beautiful pain. A multitude of these minds cry out and fade away into whispering ghosts, and the psychic plane ripples slightly with the fall of a hundred bodies, a hundred minds.

Opening our eyes we look immediately to the glass portal, our movements synchronized in our unity. J and all the lab techs have fallen, seeming to be unconscious. We are unsure of what we have done, but at the moment we do not care. We are not guilty.

The only others still coherent and untouched are Otto, Trieze, and Zechs. We feel another presence out in the distance, and we confirm that it is Mariemeia. We smile.

The box explodes, finally dead. The entire time we had been exacting our revenge it had been tapering off in its vibrations, supposedly still cooling down and shutting off. We killed it, though, and with its death comes the end of the ultra-connectivity that had been making me refer to myself as "we." That's a relief, even if it is a bit sad. Connection is good, but privacy is necessary.

The blocks are still mostly gone, except for a few lingering and sticking annoyingly to the forefront of our minds. It seems that the scientists had installed some that were not totally dependant on the machines that surrounded us, preparing and slowly building them towards a total control that would last beyond the reaches of its sapping power. A good idea, but it had been their fatal mistake.

Finally Zechs lowers his shields, and within moments the trio of men are standing nervously in the same room as we are. I look with pleasure as Meiran also enters the room, floating through the wall and taking her usual post beside her living husband. She's glowing with happiness. I can hear her whisper faintly.

For a moment we all stand, dividing the room into two groups. Them and us. What will happen?

"You have any sort of questions?" Zechs asks finally, breaking the silence. It's odd, I never knew before that this expression was so literal. The thick blank presence of silence was actually pierced by his words, dividing and melting away at the touch of sound. Cool.

"Yes," I rasp out, still dry of mouth from the tranquilizers.

A glass of water appears in front of me, pulled straight from time itself. It hovers before my face and as I take it from the air, I glance over to see Heero smirking slightly. Grinning back I feel a twinge of sorrow when I realize that although his blocks have faded greatly, his initial basic mental barriers were much more substantial than ours from years of hard conditioning. He has been a subject for so long that only his newest abilities had been really blocked by the machine; the previous ones that had been in place are still there.

After draining the glass it simply disappears back into the time stream. Someone somewhere is going to do a double take when they see their water has just blinked out of existence without them touching it. I would laugh if I weren't so occupied with the present.

"Did you betray us, or did you just manage to save yourself, and us, in the end? You need to explain which," I direct my query at Trieze, acting as the spokesman for us all. I can feel their questions and thoughts niggling and swirling through the connection, we know it will be easier for one to speak for the rest. I will gladly fill this position.

"Neither, this was all planned," Trieze responded smugly.

Nodding, I let this response be decided and settled. We accepted that. We would get more details later on the finer points. He spoke the truth, we could tell by his aura and heart.

"Since when are you two working together?" I ask, again speaking for our group. I gesture towards Zechs as I continue to look at Trieze.

This time Zechs answers. "After I was suitably molded and twisted by the doctors so long ago, I was allowed to travel with them, basically as an exhibition of the success of the early stages of the projects. At one point I met Trieze's late ex-wife, Leia, and her daughter, Mariemeia. Soon after Marie was submitted into the program by her mother with the intent to infiltrate and learn from the project. Leia was planning on exposing it to the press."

"I was unaware of my daughter's part in the project, but after Leia was killed I was notified of the project and my daughter's involvement. My ex-wife and I were both business affiliates with Romefeller Pharmaceuticals, the umbrella company for a wide range of businesses and products. It was through Romefeller that this project was funded, under the guidance of the government. The project's final goal was to create perfect living weapons that could do almost anything they desired," Trieze adds, his brow nit together in anger.

"As I was saying, though," Zechs continued. "Through Leia's help I managed to break past the bonds in my mind. She was a clinical psychologist that specialized in the abnormal field of study, and she used hypnosis as a method of treatment for the particularly psychotic. Eventually I was free, but it took almost a year and a half to complete the remolding that allowed me to keep up my façade as a mindless automaton to J's every whim."

"Similarly Mariemeia was also under her supervision. Leia worked as an undercover agent of sorts, pretending to help with the project while secretly undermining it. After a while, though, she was killed, a genuine accident as far as we can discern. Then things changed, but not enough that they were able to control me," Zechs seems to finish his speech.

"Yes, that's very interesting, but when did you and Trieze start working together?" I repeat our original question.

Trieze steps forward. "When Leia died, she left a message for me in her will. Perhaps she was safe guarding herself and her daughter, I do not know why she left that message. I, too, am qualified for psychiatric counseling, but did not work in that particular area. I changed my area of study immediately, going to the higher-ups in Romefeller to request their help in my move. I stated that I wanted to be near my daughter. They allowed me to come here. From my arrival here at the beginning of the school year I was able to speak with Zechs and catch up with my Marie. After your successful experimental results and your obvious rebellious nature, we decided that not only did you deserve help, but could one day be great allies."

"That implies that you want something else from us now," I state.

"Well, yes," Trieze replies, for once a bit short on words. He appears nervous.

"Speak it," I demand for us.

"You are not the only project of this nature in existence, we want to have your help in ending the corporate rein of the company that would do such things, change it," Otto finally speaks for the first time, honesty and genuine sincerity floating off of his aura. The guy is just so nice. I wonder how he became a part of this.

"Work for you?" I ask. I feel a hint of wary derision and scorn lift from our connection. The emotion colors my words, adding a slice of menace to my tone.

Zechs smiles. "Work with us, yes. We would appreciate the help. If you decline, that is understandable." --but we need you. The unspoken words ring loud and clear.

We consider, tossing the idea around and thinking about our other options. What else could we do? The corporation probably would come looking for us. Would we really be free? We need some help in getting rid of the last of our blocks, especially Heero's. It would give us something to do, at any rate.

The thing that keeps coming up is the "other projects." What was the corporation funding? What was the government allowing so that they could use it later? Do we take our chance for total freedom and ignore the others that suffer? After all that we had been through, we did not think we could turn our backs and keep our consciences clear. But still, would it matter if we did turn away?

We could help them.

Should we help them?

Of course.

Would we be able to live with ourselves if we did not?

No. Ultimately, no.

And so we decide. "We'll join you, but if we want out, we are allowed to leave," I say, not offering the final part as a bargain, but as a demand.

"Of course," Trieze replies.

It is done. We are to live our lives and help those that need us, fighting against the corporate machine and against the necessary evils of science. That decided, all else will flow like water in a rushing river, exiting out into the ocean of life as we fight to stay afloat. It is easier when you're not the only one trying to keep your head above water.

Like I said in the beginning, I want to live in a world freely, with no prejudices because I can see what others cannot. Anything is possible, you just have to open your eyes and see that it can be. When a person looks at you, who knows what they see?

As we stand together with our new allies, I consider myself, my new station in life.

I'll always be in an asylum, a haven. I have my friends, those I stand with now. See, we are all born with certain things we just have to deal with: who we're born to, what we're born with, and that we are born in the first place. Just because a person is different doesn't mean they aren't human.

That's just the way things are. We just have to deal with it.

We smile. So be it.

~ ~ ~ ~