The Cadence of Time: Epilogue

By: Spooks

~ ~ ~ ~

shadows of golden sunlight. The harsh sounds of a vid-set and the soft scent of perfume alerted him to another person's presence. Instincts muddled by injury and semi-consciousness fumbled for the person's identity.

Perfume...feminine voice, a unique metallic clicking...knitting needles, perhaps? Where was he? He didn't feel as though he had been captured, and his surroundings somehow felt pleasant...

Heero fumbled with his hazy snatches of memory...a voice in his head whispering for peace...the vid-set...a woman newscaster...she spoke of war...indistinct memory shifts...confusion...the only female who could possibly have the persistence to find him was Relena. There was a girl by the vid-set.

"Relena?" He mumbled unintentionally as he propped himself up on an elbow.

She was definitely not Relena. Good. This girl had short bouncy hair and wide eyes. Yeah, and she was also knitting. She was happy that he was conscious and told him to wait while she got someone named Trowa.

The girl also acted as though he knew this "Trowa" person. Maybe he should have. Heero felt as though he was missing something vital, as though a chunk of his memory had been stolen from his mind.

Maybe he did know "Trowa." Could he have some form of post traumatic memory loss from the explosion? But then, how could he remember the explosion itself? That did not make sense. Heero kept his face passive, but he was worried.

Before the girl could leave, though, a door to the outside opened and the pilot of Gundam 03 stepped into the small trailer. Ah, so the pilot's name must be Trowa. The girl confirmed it a split second later by greeting him, "Trowa, your friend has woken up!"

Friend? Maybe Heero was missing something here. Or maybe it was just the girl reading too much into the situation. However, the injured soldier still felt as though something critical was lurking a hairsbreadth out of reach in the back of his mind. Perhaps it was his lack of information.

The girl left then, saying something about making soup. Heero reasoned that she probably knew at least something about Trowa's status as a Gundam pilot, and since she had also been watching after him, she perhaps could be trusted to a certain extent. Evidently she understood that the two soldiers needed to discuss not only the status of Oz, but also the extent of Heero's injuries. It was shrewd of her, not to mention considerate. Heero filed away his observations for later thought. He would probably be staying here until he recovered more fully, and therefore should learn about the people around him in this place. Wherever "this place" happened to be.

"Where am I?" Heero asked as soon as she was gone, forcing himself to sit up in the bed. He would not show any more weakness than absolutely necessary.

Trowa moved deeper into the small room and sat in the same place the girl had recently vacated. "Along the route with a traveling circus. It's where I hide myself."

Heero shifted minutely, ignoring a dull ache in his side. The other pilot's answer was efficient, but not necessarily unfriendly. "Why did you save me? I was supposed to die." He paused, a sharp pain lacing over his ribcage.

The truth of that statement seemed to echo within him. It felt right...and yet so wrong at the same time. Heero made sure his face remained a careful blank.

The corner of Trowa's mouth twitched subtly before settling into a smirk as he glanced over his shoulder. The one green eye Heero could see from Trowa's presented profile seemed to flicker strangely at Heero's words, but the injured soldier wasn't sure if he had imagined the reaction.

Trowa responded. "You died a long time ago."

"Huh?" A grunt of surprise escaped the pilot's lips before he could stop it, and his face lost its passiveness. What a strange thing to say, especially with what Heero had been thinking...

He was slightly relieved to notice that Trowa hadn't been paying attention, and therefore hadn't seen his unprofessional reaction. An Oz spokesperson had begun a press conference on the vid-set, spewing forth his smooth anti-colony rhetoric. Witnessing the propaganda machine in motion, Heero felt a wave of disgust.

"A month has passed and Oz hasn't touched the colonies. They’re just controlling the nations of Earth with their military power," Trowa informed Heero as he watched the blond spokesman.

"A month has passed?" Heero echoed. A month? Unbelievable. No wonder he felt so...off. So that was why Trowa had made that strange comment about him being dead. It made sense now...so why did that nagging sensation still echo in his mind?

Something was missing, something he needed to remember. He needed more information.

Their conversation continued, but Heero still felt plagued. His trust in Trowa rose steadily with every passing minute, especially when the other pilot confessed that he was unsure of himself due to the lack of recent missions. Heero thought for a moment, letting his shoulders relax slightly. He considered what to do, observing the other pilot out of the corner of his eye.

Trowa stood by a window, leaning against the sill. The curtains fluttered. For some reason, Heero found himself wondering what Duo would do in this situation. Just ask?

"I've got a big favor to ask you, Trowa," Heero started, shifting so he could look the other teenager in the eye. "Could you tell me what was going on while I was lying here unconscious?"

A long look passed between them before Trowa moved away from the window. "Sure thing."

But nothing Trowa said made the echoes go away.

Of course, Trowa had his own echoes to deal with. Life and memory.

~ ~ ~ ~

Heero began to think that the strange echoing in his mind was coming from his conscience, punishing him for killing Noventa.

He was wrong.

Even after meeting Sylvia Noventa, the odd sensation persisted.

Something was missing. Something he needed to do...

He must find it.

~ ~ ~ ~

Not even in battle...

At the South Pole, fighting Zechs, even in the heat of the moment, Heero couldn't rid himself completely of the strange feeling. A gap. It was starting to annoy him, bother him, even going so far as to anger him.

He needed to do something. Some obligation, perhaps? No, it had to be something more important than that, it couldn't be something as simple as a mere obligation. Perhaps something deeper, a responsibility, a promise? Otherwise he wouldn't have such an emotional investment in it. But what? It was frustrating.

Everything was starting to get complicated.

~ ~ ~ ~

Returning to space was almost a relief. It felt...right. Perhaps what he was seeking could be found amongst the dark void of the vacuum and the tiny pinpricks of the distant stars. Even though he knew he was changing, maturing, adapting to the new situations more easily...Heero knew there was something he still had to do to make that weird emptiness go away.

Something else.

But what was it?

He hoped he would understand when the time came.

~ ~ ~ ~

So time passed. The important faded into memory hand and hand with the inconsequential. Then the echoes converged into a deafening crescendo, demanding action.

A fellow Gundam pilot had been captured. Duo.

Heero hadn't seen the pilot of Deathscythe since before he had detonated Wing, and while the other boy didn't exactly consume his thoughts, he did find himself wondering about Duo at the most unusual times. Almost like Relena, only a bit different, especially considering he and Duo's brief but intense physical experience at that boarding school. Oddly enough, Heero had enrolled himself at his current cover school under Duo's name without even thinking about it. Duo had made a unique impression on him. They were friends, at the very least. But war was not the time to entangle oneself. Complications were painful, and confusing.

...But now Duo was proving himself to be a potential liability. Not only was his Gundam in danger, but all the secrets that the boy himself possessed were at risk, as well as his skills as a pilot; those were all in jeopardy, ready to be plucked from him by the greedy vultures of Oz. Who knows what those unscrupulous bastards would do to a prisoner? Any means would justify the end to them.

Besides...the uneasiness Heero had felt ever since he had woken from his long bout of unconsciousness screamed that something needed to be done. He had a decidedly bad feeling about this, and Heero always said that people should act on their emotions. He didn't want to be hypocrite. So he recognized his own varied interests in the mission.

So he acted. Before Heero realized what he was really doing, he had hacked the necessary information and had launched an infiltration on the base where Duo was being held. Wearing relatively casual clothing as part of his cover and carrying only one handgun, the soldier felt slightly reckless despite his controlled exterior.

As the high-speed elevator carried him down to the level were they were holding the Deathscythe pilot, Heero steeled himself. The strangeness in his head had to be put aside, despite how it was now howling at him, beating on the back of his mind and demanding attention. He forced himself to lean casually against the back wall of the elevator and cross his arms over his chest so his hands wouldn't shake. What was wrong with him?

Control. He was on a mission.

He fully intended to kill Duo if the other boy proved to be a liability. He had a feeling that Duo would rather be dead than weak, anyway. Damn how Heero might really feel about it. Only the mission...and what Duo would want. Both must be considered. Yes.

The doors opened in front of Heero, but before he could step out, a pair of Oz soldiers in privates' uniforms walked past, blocking his path momentarily. Heero slipped out of the elevator and fell into step behind them; they were headed the same direction as Duo's cell, if his hacking had provided him with accurate information.

"How long do you think that little Gundam pilot will last, ya know, with out getting fucked into next week?" The short blond soldier on the left was saying. "I swear, when we were in the interrogation room earlier, ya know, when the little guy was being questioned was being questioned by Chavez? I could almost see the fuckin' hamster wheel turning in Tony's head."

Heero's eyes widened fractionally as he continued along behind them. Surely the soldier didn't mean...

"What, you think he'd actually try something on such a high-profile prisoner?" The other Oz private laughed nervously, turning his head to look down at his companion with a slightly squeamish expression. "Seriously?"

"Fuck, yeah, seriously. Tony's a grade-A asshole with no regard to common sense. Loves those sick little power games and shit. He gets off on 'em. Power trippin' and shit, ya know? The only reason he ain't been court marshaled or somethin' is because he's got family in the higher ups," the blond replied, sneering. “And money, of course.”

"Damn, really?" The taller private looked nervous.

"Yeah, really," the other private, popping his neck with a loud crack. "And with all the shit that's been going down, I'll bet somebody on shift is eventually gonna to take some cash and let Tony...or someone, anyway...in for some sick shit, ya know?"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. Makes me want to toss my lunch, ya know? People don't respect the rights of a prisoner, but hey, especially since he's gonna get fuckin' executed, a lot of people just turn a blind eye and think, 'What the fuck!' Literally," the blond snickered, more out of discomfort than humor. "Fuckin' sucks. He's just a kid, ya know?"

"Damn."

"Yeah. Ya know? Yeah--"

The two soldiers turned suddenly down a different corridor, disappearing off to the right.

Heero forced himself continued moving, his eyes hard and frozen while he fought to keep his breathing under control. He had to stay in his cover until he reached Duo's cell.

He knew all about death and war. He knew about what happened to some prisoners, he knew about torture and pain...but...he didn't want to think about that kind of thing happening to Duo. What the Oz soldiers had been alluding to...disgusting.

Heero felt ice trickle down his spine. What could that kind of thing do to someone like Duo? In the best scenario, he’d get over it eventually, but in the worst…

Heero saw an image in his head of a cold, hard-faced, and dead-eyed version of his friend, hair brushing the tops of his shoulders and looking at least ten years older. The vision flashed on the back of his eyelids as he blinked and then was gone. He blinked again, but the image didn't come back. Heero shook his head minutely, forcing a mental picture of longhaired, full-of-life Duo to the forefront of his mind. That other image was so real, though...unnervingly so.

It was so real that it was surreal. Almost as though Heero had seen that other Duo with his own eyes.

Maybe that was what he was supposed to stop.

He quickened his pace to a run, turning down the appropriate hallway. There.

One guard, no other personnel in the immediate vicinity. Excellent.

Quickly, Heero took out the guard, forcing down the lump that had choked up into the back of his throat when he had overheard the two privates' conversation. Had he been too late? What would he do if they had already done something to Duo? If this guard had let something happen to Duo...he held onto his rage and let it steel him against the possibility of seeing that dead-eyed, cold version of his friend.

Heero hoisted the unconscious guard over his shoulder and opened the door. As soon as he caught sight of Duo sitting against the back wall of the small cell, he let out a tiny exhalation and dropped the guard to the floor. Duo appeared to be fine. At least, at this moment. But had he already been compromised? Broken? Was this apparent normalcy a facade?

Heero snapped his other concerns to the back of his mind, focusing once again on the more logical aspects of the mission. One thing at a time.

Immediately Duo forced amusement into his voice and he raised his head. "What a surprise. You really are super-human."

He didn't respond, couldn't, except to raise his gun.

He had to be ready to kill the other soldier.

If Duo was broken, then he wouldn't be Duo anymore. Not Duo...someone else. Heero wasn't sure how he knew this, why he was so certain of it, but the echoes in his head were suddenly back, louder than ever, bouncing around inside his skull painfully.

Duo's eyes widened at the sight of the shining gun in the shadowy darkness of the cell. Tilting his head up, he let a tiny sigh escape his lips as he struggled to his feet. "Just in time. They were about to use me and my Gundam for their plans," he paused, swallowing to keep his voice even. No fear laced his tone, but Duo didn't meet Heero's eyes or look at the outstretched weapon as he fought to stand. "If I'm gonna die, then this seems like the way to go."

The pilot of Deathscythe finally leaned back against the wall, glanced briefly at Heero before closing his eyes quickly and tilting his head back. He squared his shoulders, keeping his voice calm. "Go ahead and shoot me."

Heero narrowed his eyes and aimed, clenching his jaw even as his hand squeezed evenly around the gun, putting pressure on the trigger. Then he changed his focus from the sights of the handgun to look long and hard at Duo.

He saw the flash of that other face overlaying Duo's sweating and frightened visage, the other Duo that looked older, harder, stronger....yet somehow more vulnerable than the one standing before him.

But the same, nonetheless.

For some reason, the situation felt strangely familiar. Heero didn't believe in destiny or fate, but he felt as though he and Duo had gone through this situation before. But when had he held Duo's life in his hands?

Heero drew in a shallow breath.

What the hell was he doing? Duo hadn't been broken. Here he was, ready to face death rather than be compromised. He was willing to let Heero kill him...

Heero. Could. Not. Kill. Him.

He had to protect Duo, get him out of here. He knew this beyond a shadow of a doubt. This was something he needed to do. He just wasn't sure why. He stared over the top of the gun at Duo, his hand steady, the pressure now released from the trigger.

The echoes...

He couldn't let that dead-eyed version of Duo ever come into existence, either. He'd just have to protect him, to stop that from happening.

Yes. He would.

Heero's decision was made. The broken circle came together.

It influenced the rest of Heero's life.

But it also affected the life of another.

That other Duo would never have to exist.

The last echoes faded...

~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~

Author's notes