By: Spooks
~ ~ ~ ~
In the dreamscape, Wufei and Duo struggled to breath, their collars drawn upward again by the attached ropes. As they shuffled on their toes, two more popping sounds were heard. Without warning, the ropes relaxed, and both collared boys' legs gave out and they dropped simultaneously to the cold barren floor, a light focusing down from above on both of them separately.
Duo looked up, fingers still hooked under his collar as he tried to find the source of the two popping noises. To his expectation and utter dismay, he saw Quatre and Trowa, each strapped to chairs in their respective circles of light. The two newly arrived pilots blinked in shock and confusion as they peered around in the dreamscape.
Wufei was the first to his feet and started to walk over to Duo, intending to help the American up from the floor. Before he could get out of his circle of light and cross over to Duo's, though, his rope was tugged again. In the blink of an eye, Wufei was strapped to a chair, just like Trowa, Quatre, and Heero. Eyes widening, Duo leapt to his feet, intending to make a break for the darkness surrounding him. As soon as he was up, however, he blinked and found himself strapped in a chair just like the others.
As the pilots struggled against the bonds holding them to the seats, their chairs began to shake and move of their own accord. Slowly but surely, the five chairs scrapped harshly across the bare floor and formed a rough circle, the five separate spotlights converging on each other to make the area almost blindingly bright. After a few moments of squinting in the intense glare, the light dimmed, allowing the boys to exchange mutual glances of fear, confusion, and concern.
Heero looked around the circle at the other pilots, at his friends. Wufei was concentrating weakly on his left arm, trying to break that bond. He had no chance, Heero knew, because the Chinese boy had been under Scelestum's control for almost a day. It was gut wrenching to witness the proud warrior humbled in such a way.
Shifting his gaze to Quatre and Trowa, Heero felt his heart ache in sympathy. The two boys' eyes were locked onto each other. Heero could read the mutual concern and fear for the each other in that stare. Even as they struggled against their bonds, the hands and feet were seeking each other even as they strained vainly against their restraints.
Turning his eyes from the poignant display out of respect, Heero finally focused on Duo, whose chair was right next to his in the circle. The American had his mouth closed tightly, lip puckered slightly inward as he strained his whole body against his bonds. As Heero watched, Duo's mouth twitched slightly and he could make out the muscles in his cheek work as Duo clenched his jaw. The terrible memory of the last nightmare flooded Heero's mind. Duo's teeth…Heero shuddered, remembering the wet cracking sound they had made under each blow of the steel hammer and the soft tearing smack of molars being broken out of their sockets. And the blood…
Breaking away from that memory, Heero felt absolute despair wash over him. He stopped his struggling and squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe if he just gave into Scelestum and whatever it was the creature wanted, then no one would have to suffer this time. Heero knew he could take the torture. He'd rather do that than have the others, especially Duo, hurt for something that was his fault. He knew he was to blame, as Scelestum told him. Perhaps it would be possible to end this now, and at least the others could be liberated from this nightmare.
"It doesn't matter what you do, you can't get free," the raspy voice of Scelestum echoed from the darkness outside their circle of light.
Finding his voice, Heero said solemnly, trying not to betray emotion, "Look, I know it's not them you want. It's me. You alluded to as much in the other dreams. I don't care what you do to me, but could you please let them out of this?"
The cloaked and hooded figure stepped into the edge of the light across from Heero, directly behind Wufei. The Chinese pilot swiveled his head around angrily to glare up at the entity, glaring into the concealing shadows of the hood.
"Oh, I'm afraid not. They are part of the reason I'm here," Scelestum chuckled in response, laying a black gloved hand on Wufei's shoulder, squeezing it tightly. Wufei's eyes widened slightly and he bit his lip, attempting to shrink away from the cold grip.
"Let go of him," Heero growled at Scelestum, shooting icy daggers from his eyes at Scelestum's dark blue eyes, the only features visible from the shroud of the hood.
"Fine," Scelestum released his hold and stepped into the middle of the circle, cloak brushing the floor as he walked. A dark purple-red bruise was already appearing on Wufei's shoulder. Heero noticed that in this realm Wufei's arm was unbroken.
"What is it that you want?" Quatre asked quietly, sounding for the entire world as though he was trying to be polite to the robed menace.
"I cannot answer your question until the intended audience is ready to listen," Scelestum replied, turning his gaze to the blond pilot.
Quatre in turn gave Scelestum a good once over and gazed thoughtfully at the hood. He sighed and tilted his head, completely undaunted by the stony stare. He spoke quietly, almost as if he were thinking out loud "You feel very familiar. I believe that like I should recognize you…Should I?"
"That is for you to determine."
"Why won't you give us a straight answer?" Heero asked angrily, trying to draw Scelestum's attention away from Quatre.
"Because, as I said, you aren't listening, Heero. Once the intended audience is ready to listen, then and only then will I be able to answer your specific questions," Scelestum said in exasperation. "With no listening there can be no understanding. I will not have my words warped by the unprepared mind."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Heero asked in confusion.
"See, you're asking questions again. You are not listening," the cloaked figure sighed. "Oh well, more demonstrations then. Perhaps you will be ready soon."
With that said, Scelestum reached into the darkness around the circle of light and withdrew a long wickedly curved blade. In the brightness of the circle it's serrated teeth glittered and sparkled as he twisted it in his grip, lightly tapping the edge against his other hand. Seemingly lost in contemplation for a moment, the five pilots stared at the twisted blade nervously. Without warning, Scelestum suddenly whirled and moved to stand before Quatre's chair.
"Such lovely eyes," the black robed figure mused, one hand leveling the point of the curved blade in front of one of Quatre's widening aquamarine eyes. Scelestum's other hand firmly took a hold of the hair on the top of Quatre's head, forcing the blond boy to remain still as the blade inched closer. Sweat glistened on the Arabian's forehead as he bit his lip and focused fearfully on the approaching shining point.
"No! Stop that!" Trowa suddenly shouted, straining against his chair's bonds. Quatre shut his eyes and started mouthing little wordless prayers, face flinching away from the sharp blade. Seconds after Trowa's exclamation, a gag blinked into existence and muffled the European pilot's alarmed protesting.
Halting the blade to lightly brush against the pale lashes framing Quatre's right eye, Scelestum slowly turned and locked his gaze with Heero's. The Japanese boy's eyes were wide in unguarded pain and fear for his blond friend, his breath coming in short gasps.
"You can stop this," the cloaked figure said before moving the blade to touch Quatre's clenched shut eyelids. Wufei averted his eyes and stared at the floor, a pained expression on his face. Duo flinched and bit his lip, unable to look away as his mind worked furiously to try and figure a way out of this. Heero glared in confusion and anger, trying to fathom how he could possibly put an end to this. Trowa drew in sharp breaths from his nose, screaming muffled by his gag as he continued to struggle for freedom to help Quatre.
With a quick slash, a thin line of blood flowed down one side of the Arabian boy's face, then another slash produced an identical flow of blood on the other side of his face. Quatre bit his lip and tried not to cry out, but nevertheless a small mewling whimper escaped from the corner of his mouth.
"Why did you have to do that?" Duo asked quietly, voice cracking slightly as he watched a silent stream of tears falling from Trowa's eyes.
"Because I needed an example," Scelestum returned promptly, icy blue gaze fixing on the braided boy.
"An example of what?"
"An example of love, intended for the audience. Love can be hurtful, but it is beautiful. The effort and strain is ultimately worth the payoffs. I needed an example of love to prove its existence to the audience," Scelestum said, pacing evenly towards the American pilot.
Duo bit his lip and considered the cloaked figure's words. "Why are you answering my questions when you won't answer Heero's?"
"I cannot lie to you, Duo Maxwell," Scelestum replied, now standing behind Duo, holding the bloody blade in his hand.
"Why?" The whispered question came.
"That is part of what I'm trying to bring to light," Scelestum waved his curved weapon in the direction of Trowa and Quatre. In the blink of an eye, the two boys were free from their bonds, a cage surrounding them instead. Immediately Trowa leapt out of his chair and had cradled the slight blond in his arms. Quatre gripped the tops of Trowa's shoulders tensely, and managed to open his eyes. A palpable sense of relief flooded the dreamscape when aquamarine, fully intact eyes shone from the midst of the blood now smearing Quatre's pale face.
"You didn't touch his eyes?" Wufei asked, stunned relief shining his dark eyes.
"No, just his eyelids. I am not a monster willingly. I have been made one, however, by my creator," Scelestum replied. He then smoothly reached down and grasped Duo's braid, violently yanking the boy's head back and exposing his long throat. Silence reined again in the dreamscape as the black robed figure slowly lowered his curved blade to rest against the pale skin of Duo's throat, tip lightly caressing the pulsing artery underneath the fragile skin. A light twist of the blade started a crimson rivulet of Duo's lifeblood to flow freely, staining the top of the boy's collar immediately. A sharp gasp came from Duo as he felt the sharp pain and sudden wetness on his neck.
"No…" Heero's voice suddenly choked out painfully, breaking the silence. "NO!"
"Why not?" Scelestum asked smoothly as he dug the blade deeper, increasing the flow of blood. Already a dull glaze was settling over Duo's normally expressive eyes.
"Because…because…I…" Heero looked piteously torn, glancing back and forth between Trowa and Quatre, who were holding tightly to each other and watching the drama unfold, and at Duo, who had ceased struggling and had relaxed, limply letting Scelestum hold his head still with the grasp on the braid. A look of utter desperation gripped the Japanese boy's face as he tried to come up with a suitable response.
"Because you love him," Wufei finished for him, understanding crossing the scholar's features. "Quatre and Trowa were an example to make you admit it. Don't you get it Heero? All this must be for you. You are the audience. Do you love Duo?"
"Yes," The word fell unheeded from Heero's lips, a look of confusion and realization shining from his eyes.
"Finally," Scelestum muttered. Immediately the black robed figure released Duo's braid and tossed the blade into the surrounding darkness. He then laid a gloved hand on the wound marring the American's neck, moving back a moment later to reveal the gash healed. Blinking, Duo's gaze once again became fully aware, and a keen sense wonder filled his eyes. A wave of Scelestum's hand in Quatre's direction stopped the blood flow from the blond's eyelids. This done, the pilots found themselves released from their bonds and free from all restraints. Duo immediately found himself wrapped in Heero's strong embrace. Breaking away, the American boy smiled warmly, his shining indigo gaze locking onto Heero's eyes with a look that said more than words ever could hope to attempt.
"Now that you have admitted this truth, you are ready for the next step," Scelestum said as the five pilots grouped together in a huddle and faced him.
"Please, tell us. I am ready to listen," Heero said quietly. Duo quietly snaked his hand down the grasp the Japanese boy's, a show of support.
"Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. Understanding must be earned, and you have only completed the first of many steps to complete comprehension," the black cloaked figure responded with a sigh. "You must drop your disbelief, open your minds, and figure some things out before I will be allowed to continue. I am only allowed to help you review the facts, as this was my primary purpose before these events began. Only when you are truly ready to admit the truth will I be able to reveal it."
With a nod of his hooded head, Scelestum waved his hand, bringing a large couch floating out of the surrounding darkness. Wordlessly, the five pilots wedged themselves onto it, finding they could all fit comfortably. Duo and Heero sat close together, fingers still firmly intertwined. Wufei sat on Duo's other side, arms crossed as he leaned back into the cushions carefully. Trowa all but pulled Quatre into his lap as the pair sat down on the other side of Wufei. Scelestum himself stood silently, waiting for the boys to get comfortable.
When they were settled, he spoke again. "Now, I will leave you to review the facts. Stay open minded, all of you. If you begin to stray from your comprehension, I shall be forced to return and guide you forcibly back to the right path. Believe me, it will not be a pleasant experience. I will be waiting and watching. When you are fully ready, Heero, I will return. Until this time you five will not be permitted to leave my realm. So, please, listen to your friends, Heero."
That said, the cloaked figure turned on his heel, and with a maddeningly familiar gait exited the circle of visible light and blended into the surrounding darkness.
"Okay then," Duo said, breaking the silence. "So, the Scelestum guy evidently intended his audience to be Heero." He tightened his grip on Heero's hand momentarily and smiled when the gesture was reciprocated gently. No matter what Scelestum's other purposes were, Duo could only thank him for Heero's admission. Even if the methods were drastic, it was worth the sacrifice for the elation he felt in his soul.
"Evidently," Wufei agreed dryly.
"I think the key to this is who Scelestum is and more specifically, the identity of this creator he mentioned," Quatre said quietly, rubbing the cloying blood from his face with his sleeve. "Something tells me that he is someone we all should know. Same with this creator."
"Agreed," Trowa said, gently moving Quatre's hand from it's cleaning and starting to wipe at the blood on the blond's face with his own sleeve.
"We should review the facts and eliminate suspects. No matter how unlikely the person left is, it must be Scelestum. Or at the least his creator, as you said, Quatre," Heero said thoughtfully, raking his free hand through his unruly hair.
"Okay then," Duo said. "Let's see what exactly we all did under Scelestum's control. Maybe that will help."
Quatre nodded, "He made Wufei cut the power lines, cut the phone lines, strangle Trowa, attack Duo in the car, down the Gundams, destroy the radio, and knock the rest of us out. I know I've got to be missing something."
"He made Wufei set his own broken arm," Duo added.
"What? My arm is broken?! How?" Wufei asked in shock.
"I broke it when you tried to strangle Trowa," Heero replied in a voice filled with guilt. "I am truly sorry."
"Apology accepted," Wufei returned, taken quietly aback by the evident concern in Heero's normally flat voice.
A thick blanket of thoughtful silence settled over the pilots as they considered the events and clues presented to them during the past day. Sighing, Heero mentally wished that they could view the important things over again.
Suddenly, a soft light appeared in front of the pilots. Scelestum's hoarse voice came from the darkness, "I told you I could help you by reviewing the facts. Here they are, view them as you will." The soft light began to take the shape of people, and the pilots leaned forward to watch the show unfold.
Random flashes of two-dimensional images began to appear in the surrounding darkness. A laptop screen, the view of the car wreck through the front window of the house, a vision of Wufei choking Trowa, a flash of all the pilots except Heero around the breakfast table, the cut power lines and the acid baited phone lines, and finally a replay of Wufei saying the word "guilty." Then the pictures stopped, and voices randomly started to emanate from all sides of the pilots, sounding in the darkness.
'You woke up screaming, Heero,' Duo's voice said, coming from right in front of them.
'A clue for you, if you dare to believe...my name is Scelestum,' the robed figure's voice purred in their ears.
'I just wanted to say that I'm glad you're not dead,' Heero's voice this time, from after he had pulled Duo from the wrecked car.
On the couch, Duo squeezed Heero's hand gently.
'Even my, uh, episode, didn't happen until we got within sight of the house.' Quatre's voice now came from behind them.
Wufei narrowed his eyes in reaction to this playback. That was weird. After being held in the darkness he hadn't gotten the full story. And the vision of the car wreck was from the point of view of the house. It was something to consider.
'Besides, doesn't it seem strange that Wufei just woke up with a broken arm and didn't seem to think anything about it? I know he was out of it, but jeez, he doesn't set his broken bones like you do.' Duo's voice came from above them.
Quatre thought about that for a second, it was true, Heero was the only one that ever set his own bones.
'Scelestum? That's sounds like Latin.' Duo's voice again, this time from their right.
At this, Trowa's eyes widened and he sucked in a breath. He hadn't really thought too deeply about the name the entity had chosen, but hearing Duo's playback statement jostled something in his mind. Trowa had learned a bit of Latin in his childhood. He should know what that word meant; he was sure he had heard the root before. It was right on the tip of his tongue…
'We had a nightmare.' Heero's voice this time.
'All communications start up systems are down. Major repairs are needed before it can even be started safely. I don't understand how someone could break into the systems like this.' Heero's voice again, sounding from the immediate left in the darkness outside the circle of light surrounding the boys.
Duo bit his lip. It was odd that Scelestum could get to all the Gundams. The only person he knew that could do that kind of hack job was Heero.
'Guilty.' Wufei's voice echoed in the darkness.
Trowa took a sharp breath. He had remembered.
'Wufei, how did you get out of your restraints this morning?' Heero's voice asked in the gloom.
'I was able to break free, my dear Heero. I was able to free myself easily, just as you would have been able to.'
Comprehension flooded Quatre's eyes. Just as Heero would have been able to…
'We?' Heero's voice sounded confused, coming from right behind the pilots, coming from the depths of the darkness surrounding the boys.
Finally, the voices stopped. One last image flashed onto the darkness in front of the pilots.
It was Duo, sitting on the bathroom counter, face tilted upwards as a hand gently blotted away blood from his forehead. Duo's back was to the mirror, and there was a slight shift, as though the image was moving. A shape could be seen in the mirror behind Duo. Heero's eyes widened as he caught sight of himself in the image, his face reflected in the mirror. Heero's point of view from the day before as he cleaned the blood from Duo's forehead. Oh God…
The image halted when Heero's face was visible in the mirror, staying for a full five seconds before abruptly blinking out of existence.
"I…I…" Heero seemed to be at a loss for words as he struggled to voice some denial to the terrible evidence presented.
"Oh God, Heero," Quatre said quietly. "Only you set your own bones, only you could hack the Gundams like that, only you could break those restraints, only you knew how to set the acid on the phone cords. You didn't check on the validity of that email from Dr. J because you sent it to yourself. Now it makes sense."
"And now that I think about it, the light only showed up in this place when Heero did," Wufei added thoughtfully.
"It's not his fault. It can't be!" Duo hissed fiercely, wrapping his arm around the still shocked Heero.
"But how can this be?" Wufei asked.
"Scelestum is Latin. I know a little bit of Latin," Trowa said, speaking quietly. The four other boys turned their full attention to the European pilot.
"Yeah, I do too, I just couldn't remember what it meant," Duo responded. "You know what it means, don't you Trowa?"
The tall boy nodded. "Scelestum, roughly translated, means guilt."
"Guilt…" Heero finally managed to choke out, eyes wide as he reviewed everything running through his head. Horror and shock filled him so fully that he had dropped his outward defenses completely. Heero Yuy was shaking, his face pale against the black of Duo's sleeves as the American boy embraced him comfortingly. He turned his ashen countenance towards the other pilots and spoke in a woeful voice. "I am so, so sorry. This is all my fault."
"Heero, I think I can say that I speak for all of us when I say that we don't blame you. Even if you don't believe it or we don't always show it, we are your friends," Wufei said sincerely, looking to the other pilots for support.
Trowa and Quatre nodded in unison, sincerity shining from their eyes as they looked at the Japanese boy. Duo merely hugged Heero tighter to show his agreement with Wufei.
"Very good," Scelestum, guilt, stepped from the surrounding shadows, his eyes glittering from the recesses of his hood. "You are prepared for the rest, now that you admitted this much. I must say, you have come a long way. Now for the final step."
Scelestum reached up slowly and removed his all-concealing hood, letting the heavy fabric fall back from his head and puddle around the back of his neck. Standing there, head and face unveiled, eyes closed, the entity waited for the five pilots to take in his appearance.
All five boys shrank back at the hideous countenance of the revealed creature. Slightly translucent skin stretched tightly over an emaciated face, deeply bruised and sunken eyes rimmed with ghastly purple rings. Large swollen bruises and open, puss-oozing cuts randomly decorated the bloodless skin. On the crown of his head, matted dark hair was plastered to the skull, decorated with macabre bald patches that were lined with the blood-matted dark brown hair.
Eyes wide, Quatre looked quickly away and moved slightly closer to Trowa, who had focused his gaze at Scelestum's feet before turning to look at Quatre. Both boys were finding an excuse to look away from the creature. Wufei gasped in shock at the terrible face revealed, unable to tear his eyes away from sick fascination. Duo could feel the sour taste of bile rise in the back of his throat as he fought the urge to vomit. Heero felt a rising dread in the pit of his stomach, he knew that Scelestum still had points to make before they would be freed from this nightmare. To all the pilots, there was still something naggingly familiar about the unveiled, scarred boy standing in front of them, but no one could quite discern what it was.
Now only being directly observed by Wufei, Duo, and Heero, Scelestum slowly parted his lips in a grotesque parody of a smile. All three observing pilots winced visibly at the disgusting mouth revealed. Half of the teeth had rotted into brownish green nubs. The rest of the teeth were missing, blood dripping black hollows gaping blankly. Slowly a swollen bloody black tongue snaked out of the corner of the creature's mouth and softly flicked over an open wound on the corner of his peeling, cracked lips.
"Do you recognize me yet?" Scelestum asked the boys, air whistling softly around the broken and missing teeth. His eyes were still closed. Trowa turned his gaze up and evenly stared at the speaker.
"Not yet," Duo whispered in quiet horror, still wrapping his arms around Heero, the embrace a comfort to both boys.
"You have something to do with Heero, right? Are you someone he's killed?" Quatre asked quietly, still refusing to look directly at the hideous boy standing before him.
"Yes, I have everything to do with Heero, but I'm not someone he's killed," Scelestum paused. "Yet."
"Yet?" Heero questioned, glaring thoughtfully at the ghastly form before them.
"You've tried several times," the scarred and pitted lips forming another grotesque smile.
Wufei closed his eyes and leaned back, head tilted sideways as he tensed his face in deep thought. Quatre had looked up and was staring at the puss and gore oozing from a wound amongst the revealed creature's messy dark hair.
"Why won't you open your eyes?" Duo asked.
"Do you want me to?"
"Yes, maybe we'd recognize you, like you think we should," Duo returned.
"Fine, since you asked," Scelestum replied, slowly creaking his eyes open.
Duo's jaw dropped as he took in the completed picture of Scelestum, ugly and torn, eyes open wide. "No way. No fuckin' way!"
Heero expected as much, recognizing the completed figure with his eyes open. He felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach at the confirmation of his fears.
Wufei creaked open his eyes, breaking his concentration to look at Scelestum with his eyes open. Instant recognition also jolted the Chinese boy. "Oh, Nataku, save us."
Quatre blinked in shock a few times before a focused look of understanding crossed his features. Trowa merely nodded, as though he expected as much to be revealed by the clear, deep blue eyes staring at them.
Scelestum had Heero's eyes.
Scelestum looked exactly like a bruised, bloodied, and mutilated Heero. No wonder Scelestum could do so much that only Heero could do. No wonder he had been able to direct and manipulate people to do what only Heero was capable of doing.
No wonder, because Scelestum was Heero.
"Why?" The simple question came from Duo in a horrified whisper.
"I am Heero's inner self, his subconscious, his guilt and pain manifest. Take a good look, this is why you're here," Heero's guilt said, blood and gore dripping out of his mutilated mouth. "We are going to rot from the inside out if something isn't done. Terrible, corrosive guilt has so completely taken control of us that we are going to stop functioning. And we don't want that because we have something to live for now. Even if we don't want to admit it sometimes. And, yes, even if we don't believe that we deserve to live."
"But how in the world were you able to do all this without Heero knowing?" Quatre asked.
"The subconscious is a powerful thing. Everything that I have done or known has been buried so deeply that his conscious mind had no way of knowing about it or had forgotten it long ago. For instance, I took my name from a mere glimpse at a Latin textbook from three years ago," Scelestum responded. "The way I was able to do so much is because, self preservation forced me to make myself known. It is within the abilities of all human beings to control their dreams, and the necessity and the severity of the situation demanded that a split be made and action be taken to rectify the situation."
"What do you expect me to do about this?" Heero asked in a choked voice, his arms tightening around Duo of their own accord.
"Forgive yourself," the mutilated boy replied, coming forward and crouching down to be at eye level with the seated pilots. Up close the ugly wounds and lacerations were much more hideous and nauseating. Sensing this, Scelestum moved back and across the circle of light and settled back on his heels to wait for Heero's reply.
"I don't know if I can do that."
"You have to or else…well, just look at how terrible you feel inside. I'm hideous. I'm falling apart. You need help," Scelestum replied quietly, pointing at the other four pilots. "And that's why they are here. You friends have to help you, me, they have to help us. We cannot be alone any longer. It is killing us. It is killing you. That is why I had to prove that you cared for them and they cared for you. You are friends, and friends support one another. Only they can fix you inside."
"I will definitely help," Duo said immediately.
"As will I," Wufei added.
"Of course we'll help you," Trowa put in.
"Heero, as corny as it may sound, we are your family. You can count on all of us, even if none of ever say so out loud," Quatre said quietly.
"Yes, I believe our individual pride often stops us from expressing such…emotions, but if we can't help each other with the guilt and pain from our harsh lives, then how else would we be able to cope?" Wufei added wisely.
Heero sat stunned, trying to process the things he was seeing, hearing, and feeling. Was he really such a monster inside? Did he have to be? He used to think so, but now…obviously he didn't have to be hideous, otherwise none of this would have happened. How in the world was he just supposed to let go of all the guilt and pain, though? It had become a part of him, effecting the way he saw life and his place in the world. Who would he be without this guilt?
A firm inkling of resolve sneaked its way past Heero's crumbling internal emotional defenses. Maybe he could deal with the guilt instead of just pushing it aside. Maybe the other pilots, his friends, maybe they could help him. Heero realized that he would have to be humble and accept the help the others had just offered before he could go any further in fixing himself. Suddenly, Heero was interrupted in his musings by a squeeze from Duo.
"Well, Heero, what do you think? Will you let us in?" Duo asked softly.
Heero blinked rapidly and looked at the others in turn. Farthest away from him, Quatre was staring at him with large shining aqua eyes and a face that begged to be trusted. Trowa was next, steady emerald gaze conveying all the loyalty a comrade and friend could offer. Next to Trowa, Wufei sat, understanding, sympathy, and sincerity etched clearly onto his noble features. Finally, Heero turned his intense blue gaze to the boy next to him, the soldier who was embracing him. Duo was looking at Heero intently, violet eyes filled with compassion, hope, and concern. Heero took a deep breath and made a decision.
"If you think I am worthy of your help in dealing with this…with my pain," Heero felt his eyes water slightly and his voice threaten to crack. "Then how can I not accept your help? I am deeply, deeply sorry that I waited so long and was forced by something as extreme as this to realize that I am not alone." Heero shut his mouth quickly, he couldn't say any more without losing control of the lump in the back of his throat.
The light tapping brought the boys' attention back to the entity, the guilt, which had brought them to the dreamscape. A slight transformation had taken place during the conversation between the pilots and Heero's decision. Scelestum was smiling at the five gathered with a mouth full of shining ivory teeth.
"Very, very good. I believe in time that we will be fine, Heero. Do not forget the lessons you have learned here," Scelestum said in a voice filled with relief. "It will take time, but you'll be healed, Heero. I will take my leave now. Mark my words, I will be back if you try to deny yourself again."
Having finished his speech, Heero's manifested entity of guilt and pain faded into the darkness outside the circle of light.
A few seconds later, the pilots woke up.
~ ~ ~ ~
After waking up and recovering from their trip into Scelestum's dream realm, the pilots were stuck inside the house for another two days. Contact with the outside world was out of the question because of the combination of circumstances and the raging storm. It was really another blessing in disguise, however, because it gave the five boys ample time to talk about their shared experiences, both from the past few days and the past few years. Later they would agree that the isolation imposed upon them was a great boon, it left them time to grow closer and relate to each other as friends instead of just as fellow soldiers.
Later that week the pilots were finally ready to leave the safe house. Once they knew that it was Heero who had sabotaged the Gundams' computers, it was relatively easy for the Japanese computer expert to fix the damage. Standing on the front porch, the five friends looked at the twisted metal wreckage of the car before starting towards their Gundams. They were leaving the house for good.
Trowa and Quatre were the first to step off the porch, followed by Wufei. The three pilots were laughing and joking as they made their way around the house and in the direction of their Gundams. Heero stood on the porch a few moments longer, briefly transfixed by his hand on the doorknob as he closed the front door behind him. So much had happened in this isolated little house. Horror, redemption, and forgiveness would etch this location into Heero's psyche forever. He had much to be thankful for because of this house's isolation, the opportunity it had indirectly provided. The experience was a turning point for the Japanese boy.
For the first time in his life, Heero was not alone.
A light hand on his shoulder brought Heero's mind back to the present.
Turning away from the closed door, Heero glanced over at Duo's smiling face. Wordlessly, the Japanese boy let go of the doorknob, and took Duo's hand in his. They stepped off the porch together.
Heero never looked back.
~ ~ ~ ~End.
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