By: Spooks
~ ~ ~ ~
Eventually Heero's pain subsided and he was able to sit up under his own power. Then we shared a few minutes of silent contemplation about just what in the holy hell we were going to do about Heero's situation before we finally started to talk about it. The conversation just went around in circles, however, because when it came right down to it, we were pretty damn powerless. All we could really hope to do was to try and slowly unravel the barriers on Heero's subconscious. Maybe eventually he could be allowed to talk and perhaps communicate exactly what was happening to him. Or talk at all.
Soon the big guy upstairs (in the environmental control department) looked at their clocks and decided to turn off the "sun." It was quickly approaching dinnertime anyway, and if we weren't at the med station for our pills before we ate, someone would come looking for us. Crawling out of our hollow tree, we brushed any of the telltale artificial dirt off of our clothing and took a roundabout way back to the building. Heero was not just being paranoid. We knew bad things were actually happening to him, and he suspected that we might be involved in it later because of our "lunacies." Well, let's just say I suddenly felt a healthy dose of my own paranoia kick in.
As we ate our dinners the conversation started up again, this time with a bit more direction and intelligence. Maybe all we needed was time to think things over. Probably not, I bet it was the great pasta we had been served for dinner. Pasta power.
"So, basically we've narrowed this down to the following," Wufei stated, mopping up some errant sauce with his bread. "We really can do nothing to stop these sessions of Yuy's, but maybe try and hide him when one of those delightful…Thugs…comes to take him away. Meanwhile, we try and find a way to uncover exactly what is happening and maybe find a way, once we have more information on the matter, to stop it indefinitely. Like informing someone we trust on the outside."
Quatre nodded, discreetly wiping his chin with his neatly folded napkin. "Yeah, that's about the sum and substance of it."
Trowa nodded slightly, then added, "Perhaps we can ask questions casually about his treatments, or if it comes right down to it, spy."
"Yeah, I told you guys about the little hallways and secret passages in this place, didn't I?" I added, taking another forkful of noodles. "If we find out exactly where they are taking you," I looked at Heero, who nodded, "Then maybe I can figure out what passages might lead to that area or something."
Heero took out his pad of paper and wrote on it, wincing slightly at one point, then handed me the note.
--I will show you later what wing of the asylum it is in, but we cannot go specifically into the area. It is restricted.--
"Alright, so after we finish eating, we'll take another tour of the grounds. You know, just to make sure you guys have seen all the sights," I grinned wickedly and winked.
Heero snorted in response, but I caught the ghost of a smirk on his face before it blanked out again. Wufei just rolled his eyes, and Trowa didn't react.
Quatre laughed and stood up. "Well, what are we waiting for? Everyone is done eating…well, except for you, Duo." He looked down at my still half-full plate of pasta.
Okay, fine, I admit it. I sometimes talk too much. Bite me.
~ ~ ~ ~
After returning our trays and plates (and I finished my dinner under the impatient scrutiny of the others) Heero led to where his session that afternoon had taken place. He was right, there was no way we'd get too deep into the area of the building that he had been, I had only been in this wing of the building very few times in my years in this place. Heero was leading us straight to the seldom used (or so I thought) and supposedly being remodeled wing of the asylum.
You know I never really thought about it, but they had been working on remodeling that wing as long as I can remember. I don't know why I never realized it before. All the other remodeling projects (like the smelly cafeteria) had taken less than six months, never mind four years. Just the same, I had only been on this side of the building on the random occasion. There are places that just don't feel right, you know what I mean? And considering the little shadow demons that I'd always glimpsed around this wing, I generally avoided coming here just so I wouldn't have to deal with the little bastards. Also, to tell the God's honest truth, I had almost forgotten it had existed at all. Weird.
Heero stopped abruptly at a scratched and pitted wooden door near the first hallway of the wing. He silently pointed at the door, then backed away quickly. Tuning into my other senses, I let my full vision take in the seemingly innocent door before me.
Around the edges of the door oozed a bile black slime, the likes of which I have seen only in my worst nightmares. I immediately stepped away from the door. Glancing over at Meiran's spirit, I noticed that she was hovering more faintly than I had ever seen her, and she was almost hiding behind Wufei, both her arms hugged around his neck. Ever so often a dark wave would emanate from the door's oozing dark mire, and Meiran would actually evade it as though it would hurt her if it touched her.
Trowa stepped forward and rapped his knuckles lightly on the door, producing a solid, metallic echo to ring along the door and its frame. So, we had a cleverly disguised, thick metal door that was posing as just another innocent wooden door, discreetly hidden in plain sight. How quaint.
Yet another in a long line of new discoveries, another oddity in what I had once thought was a world I knew everything about. First I find out I'm not crazy, then I find out that I'm not the only one who isn't, then I find out that one of my new friends is involved in a vast conspiracy, then I find out that my other new friends might be involved in it soon, then I find out that a formerly inoffensive wooden door is actually made of thick steel and in all likelihood heavily fortified.
Just fuckin' peachy.
And classes started tomorrow.
Understandably, the small discovery that the door was made of steel unsettled me enough to wonder what other measures they had taken. Namely, hidden cameras to catch snooping patients. Like us. Motion sensors. Maybe even weight sensors built into the floor. Eep. My internal senses just started screaming in a phony British accent, "Run away! Run away!"
Since I try to follow my instincts if at all possible, I looked frantically, finding a clock so I'd have an excuse for wanting to get that hell out of there. I caught a glancing look of a wire encased wall clock on the opposite wall of the door. I did a double take. Someone had went to all the trouble of concealing the steel door in plain sight, but they didn't think about having a shiny, brand new, dust free wall clock in the abandoned wing of the asylum.
Hmm. Maybe my instincts could wait. Curious, I waved the guys over and went to stand in front of the clock, pointing out my observations to them.
"Okay, I want to have a look around here for a few more minutes," Quatre said, a look of concentration gracing his pale face. I could tell he was sensing something and wanted to see if he could trace it. He tentatively walked up to the metal door and laid his hand on its surface. I could read the shock and pain clear across the hallway as they hit him. Not moving for a moment, he gathered himself together and began to walk parallel to the wall, deeper into the wing, his hand trailing across the flaking paint, causing little flurries of it to fall to the dirty floor in his wake.
Wufei stood with Meiran at the entrance to the wing, making sure his body was between her and the doorway. Judging from the protective look on his serious face, he had evidently picked up on her discomfort and was making concessions for it. Heero was sitting on the opposite side of the hallway from where Wufei was standing, his head bowed down and his shoulders hunched over. When I looked in his direction, I could see the flash of blue from his eyes as he watched us.
Trowa trailed silently behind Quatre as the blond boy made his silent walk deeper into the wing. His actions fairly screamed that he was there if Quatre needed him, but not trying to get in his way. Not really knowing what to do with myself, I was still damn jumpy. Something about this whole area just felt off, and I'm not just talking about the sinister waves of ethereal energy wafting away from the doorway. I decided to check and see if any of the other doors were more than they initially appeared, so I did what any dumbass would do.
I opened one of them.
The loud creak echoed in the still quiet of the hallway, reverberating loudly. Feeling myself break out in a nervous sweat, I decided to follow through on my venture and stepped into the doorway. Inside the dark room, I could barely make out sheet covered furniture. A faint smell of fresh paint was evident as I crept carefully into the room, and I forgot about my nervousness and replaced it with curiosity. Good thing I'm not a cat, or I'd have been dead years ago, ne?
Before I could get any further in my investigation, I heard voices back out in the hallway. Oh, shit, we had been caught. I poked my head out the doorway, trying to appear innocent and curious, just like a good little harmless lunatic should.
Oh, double shit. Of all the damn people to catch us, why did it have to be Mueller? The ugly brute was making a point of towering over Quatre, his big meaty hands on his hips as he leaned slightly forward, looming. Trowa had his arm wrapped protectively around the blond boy's shoulders and was glaring for all he was worth up at the Thug. Wufei was standing immediately behind the pair, Meiran risking the dark waves to protectively guard her living husband. Several feet behind them, Heero stood, his dark eyes were wide and glaring angrily, his features otherwise blanked out.
Moving tentatively forward, I crept up to where Mueller had my friends backed up against the wall at the entrance to the wing. Right as I passed by the steel doorway, I heard a harsh scraping noise radiate from the other side, like nails on glass. So sue me, I was startled. I yelped. Good for me.
Mueller turned and looked at me in obvious surprise. "Well, little Maxwell, I should have known you'd be here with your pretty little roommates. I'm surprised you're causing all this trouble," he leered at me, almost causing me to shudder. Yuck.
"Well, I won't tell anyone about this just yet, but if I catch you five again in this area, I will report you. Now, do exactly as I say," the ugly brute smirked. "You, Yuy, go back to the room."
Heero raised one eyebrow and didn't move.
"Go on. I will send the others after you," Mueller made shooing motions with his hands.
Heero gave each of us a long look before turning on his heel and stalking angrily away.
Mueller looked down at his watch, then at each of us. After a few minutes, he looked at Wufei. "Go, Chinaman."
Wufei scowled and adjusted his little glasses, glaring with all his might up at the damn Thug. He turned and left, shooting glances back at the rest of us in obvious concern. No doubt what I had told him earlier about the Thugs was running through his mind. I gotta say, though, despite the severity of the situation and my mounting fear, I almost laughed out loud when Meiran flipped Mueller off.
After a few more minutes of standing there, Mueller gestured at Trowa and Quatre. "Go, you little fags," he sneered, not bothering to suppress a taunting laugh.
Trowa glared, his eyes blazing emerald fire as the pair turned and left. Quatre shot me a fearful glance. Later he told me that he was picking up some repulsive emotions rolling off of Mueller. I can only imagine. When the pair had finally turned the corner, out of sight, Mueller turned towards me with a positively frightening leer on his face.
The Thug backed me up against the wall, looming his hulking mass over me, forcing me to try and edge away against the peeling wall, tiny paint flakes digging into the backs of my arms as I moved. I tried to slide sideways, but he put both his hands on either side of me against the wall, essentially trapping me. Looking up into his maliciously glittering eyes, I caught the sight of a lust demon popping up on his shoulder. Oh God, please, not that.
Leaning his large body forward, Mueller pressed himself up against me, bowing his head to hiss in my ear as he harshly ground himself against me. "Oh, little Maxwell, how long I've watched you. That hair of yours, those eyes, that face, you look so lovely sometimes. And now you've given me an excuse..." His voice morphed into a near purr and he groaned obscenely, pinning me even harder against the wall.
"No one will come and save you, pretty," he hissed, and I felt his wet tongue crudely invading the delicate shell of my ear. With a growl, he bit down on my earlobe lightly, sucking on it. I shuddered, trying in vain to move, straining every muscle in hopes that I could just get away from the Thug's revolting touch.
What made it worse was what I saw when I managed to glance over Mueller's head as he traveled lower, his hands starting to wander places they shouldn't go. I almost screamed in fear when I felt his hand cup my crouch, and I squirmed, trying to just melt into the wall. Over Mueller's head I could see my friends, expressions a cross between shock, horror, and anger as they peeked around the far corner of the hallway. Behind them Alex, Mueller's brother, stood with a wide grin cracking his wide face. Wufei told me later that Alex had both his hands on Quatre's shoulders, fingers hooking almost around his neck. He also said if they moved that Alex would have squeezed his hands, in all probability breaking Quatre's collarbone. We were all trapped in our own little hells by those damn Thugs.
How humiliating. I was going to be raped in plain view of the only people I had really ever cared about. Am I worth nothing at all? Why does things like this happen? Why me?
Swallowing the sour bile that was rising in the back of my throat, I tried to control my frantic breathing. I did try to scream when Mueller took one of my hands and pressed it to his clothed erection, but only a choked, pathetic gurgle managed to squeak past my lips. Looking up at my face, Mueller smirked at me, and then took advantage of my momentary horror to kiss me full on the lips, thrusting his hot, disgusting tongue into my mouth, invading it obscenely and roughly, biting on my lips and sucking harshly. My first kiss. I wish that I had bit his tongue, but I wasn't thinking that clearly at the moment.
I whimpered, squeezing my eyes shut, calling out with all my mind and all my soul for help. Horror flashed red hot behind my eyes as full comprehension of what was about to happen truly hit me. With Mueller's mouth over mine and the pressure he was exerting on my body, I couldn't catch my breath. My vision began to darken around the edges, and I was slowly fading away, as though I were viewing the whole experience through a long tunnel. Faintly I could hear the words, "Oh God, no, please, stop, no, stop, stop, no…" With a detached feeling of shock, I realized that it was me whining pathetically, and that hot tears were streaming down my face as I sobbed faintly, still weakly struggling to escape. My vision almost faded completely out, and I began to retreat within my body, feeling a blessed darkness start to settle over the backs of my eyes…
Suddenly the heavy pressure of Mueller's sweaty mass was gone. I immediately slumped feebly to the floor, knees completely weak, my heart still beating a frantic beat within my chest as I tried to catch my breath. I looked up to see what had happened, who had saved me.
Standing above me, glaring crystal blue bullets at Mueller, was a tall blond man wearing a white lab coat and scrubs, no nametag. "What do you think you were doing?" He asked the Thug in a clipped voice. I noticed he had a hold of Mueller's arm, and the Thug was wincing in visible pain. Huh, see how the bastard likes it when he's the one being pushed around.
The blond man violently shoved Mueller away. "Go, do something useful," he commanded, power radiating in the air around him.
Mueller stammered, then turned on his heel and walked swiftly in the opposite direction that my roommates had taken. Around the blond man, I could see Meiran floating just around the corner. She was watching for the others, probably reporting to Wufei and Trowa what was happening, and they were translating for Heero and Quatre. Pretty smart, if you ask me. They later told me that as soon as the blond man appeared, Alex had literally run away and left them alone. What a pussy.
Focusing back on my lab-coated savior, I blinked the salty tears out of my eyes and wiped my steaming face on the back of my sleeve. Ewwww…snot. Gross.
The man smiled down at me, then offered me a hand to help me up from the floor. "Sorry about that, I'd report him if I though it would do any good."
I looked at him incredulously. It was one thing for me to know that, it was another to have someone in some sort of power realize it too. Noticing my shock, the man laughed gently.
"Well, get going, you're not supposed to be in this area," he said as he gave me a gentle push down the hallway. Something niggled at the back of my mind. There was something about this man…I couldn't put my finger on it, though, and now he was looking at me strangely. Better go before he decides to get medieval on my ass.
As I walked away, I kept glancing back at the man. He waved once, then brushed out of his face a stray lock of hair that had escaped his low ponytail. I quickly turned back around, continuing on my way. Next time I looked back, I saw the steel door close.
My mysteriously familiar savior was involved in Heero's sessions.
I had a feeling that things were not going to be as simple as I first thought. Not that I expected this to be a walk in the park, but this was turning out to be a walk in a minefield.
~ ~ ~ ~
When I caught up with the others around the corner of the corridor, I received another shock. Nurse Peacecraft was talking to the guys, and she was fussing over Heero. My poor silent friend looked like just wanted to run away.
"Oh, there he is!" She said when I rounded the corner. "Duo, you know you're not supposed to be in this part of the building. They're doing renovations."
"Uh, yeah," I paused, looking to the other guys for help. I had no clue what they had already told her.
Fortunately, Wufei picked up on my blatantly panicked expression. "We're sorry, Nurse, but we just wanted to see what it was. It was our faults, not Duo's." He grinned nervously, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. Meiran was giggling silently over his shoulder at his unease.
"Can we go back to our rooms now?" Quatre asked suddenly.
Nurse Peacecraft looked surprised. "Well, of course. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep you. Would you mind if I saw you back there for my peace of mind? I saw Alex a little while ago going the other way, and you know how…disagreeable he can be." The blond woman wrinkled her nose as though she smelled something disgusting.
So we started walking in the direction of our room, Wufei striding forward, leading the way boldly as though he was on an important mission. Next Heero walked, staring straight ahead and ignoring the funny looks that Nurse Peacecraft was giving him out of the corners of her eyes. Trowa and Quatre were next, and I brought up the rear. Hurray for the human caboose.
After a few steps Nurse Peacecraft dropped back and got in step with me. Sensing that she had done this for a reason, and still pretty freaked out by what had happened to me only a few minutes ago, I was not in the mood for her simpering. She'd forgive me for being an asshole.
"What?" I growled wearily, glaring at her.
She raised one blond eyebrow at my tone of voice before speaking. "Well, I'll make this concise then. Does Heero remind you of someone?" She nodded her head in Heero's direction, as though I wouldn't know whom she meant.
"No, why?" I answered, my curiosity starting to get the better of my crankiness (but not quite).
"Well, he reminds me of my brother. You remember Milliardo, don't you Duo?" She looked at me with sad blue eyes. Damn, now I felt sorry for her. "I know you were roommates right when he was close to… her voice trailed off softly, and she quietly cleared her throat.
"Well, maybe just a little," I conceded, to make her happy. Actually, there was something vaguely reminiscent of Milliardo in Heero's temperament. I just hadn't been able to put my finger on it before. I then realized that Nurse Peacecraft had given me a perfect opportunity to finally find out what happened to Milliardo.
"Did Milliardo die, then? What exactly did he die of? I hate to ask so bluntly, Nurse Peacecraft, but they never told me. One day I just came into our room and all his stuff was gone. I never saw him again," I blurted out in one breath, before I lost my nerve. I felt like a heel, asking the poor woman about what was obviously a delicate subject for her.
Her expression clouded over in sadness. "I remember sitting in my dorm room when the call came the he was gone. They never told me how he died, and I couldn’t come home in time for the cremation. It was weird, I loved my little brother so much, and suddenly he was a faceless pile of ashes. I wish they had waited so I could have seen his face one more time, he was the only living family I had left…I'm sorry," She wiped the corner of her eye quickly. "I can't believe they didn't tell you he was gone."
By this time we had reached our room, and the others had started to go in, glancing back at the Nurse and I. I nodded them to go ahead and go in, which they did. I then turned back to Nurse Peacecraft.
"Look, it's okay. Milliardo was a pretty cool guy. I'm sure he's watching you now," I said, even though I knew that if he was then I'd probably see him. Give me a break, I was trying to be comforting. "I've got to get in the room now, you know you're probably supposed to start room checks right about now anyway." I wiggled my eyebrows at the woman. She smiled woefully at me and laughed.
"You're right, Duo," she patted my arm. "Go on, sleep well, and good luck tomorrow in classes."
"Oh, don't remind me!" I groaned over my shoulder as I entered the room.
Nurse Peacecraft waved and walked away. Heero came up behind me and stood beside me as I watched the young woman go in the direction of the nurses' station. I looked at him in surprise, my heart secretly freaking out.
"What, you got a crush or something?" I teased, trying to joke the away the dull pain that had knotted up in my chest.
He glared at me and nodded in the opposite direction that Nurse Peacecraft had gone. Standing together, leaning casually against the corner of the hallway, were Alex and Mueller. I felt my eyes widen and my heart start to pump widely in my chest. And here I thought I had managed to recover. Mueller smiled at me, waved once, and blew me a kiss. Alex snickered and winked luridly.
I almost threw up. I almost started crying out of sheer helpless frustration. I almost screamed out in pure rage and anger. Instead I stood there, shaking and staring silently at the two Thugs standing nonchalantly just fifty feet away.
Abruptly I felt a gentle pressure circle around my waist and felt myself being pulled into the room, out of the view of the two grinning Neanderthals. Heero was glaring daggers of hatred over my shoulder at the pair as he carefully dragged me backward into the room. I felt myself sag into his arms, the shock of what Mueller had done to me suddenly catching up with me. It was though I had pushed it to the back of my mind, and now it was threatening to overwhelm me. I let myself be guided over to Heero's bunk, and he sat me down on it, drawing aside the curtained sheets so I could sit comfortably. He then sat beside me, wrapping an arm around my back to stop me from lolling forward off the edge of the bed into a pathetic little puddle. I leaned heavily onto to him, exhaustion humbling me enough that I didn't mind showing such a weakness.
Wufei shut the door soundly, glaring at the two orderlies as he did so. Meiran stuck her head through the wall and reappeared a few seconds later, apparently telling Wufei that the Thugs had left. Satisfied, Wufei left his post by the door and sat down on his bed. Therefore he was sitting in the area between where Trowa and Heero's respective beds that made a little hallway of sorts. Quatre and Trowa, meanwhile, had taken their customary seat opposite Heero and I on Trowa's bunk. We sat there silently for a few minutes, lost in our own thoughts.
In a little while, Heero dug out his little notepad and pen, careful not to let me fall aside as he did so. How sweet. I had started to gather my thoughts and wits about me again, but sitting so close to my silent roommate, never mind with his arm wrapped around me, my head resting on his shoulder was very nice. So sue, me, I have depression, I don't feel nice very often. I wanted to prolong this feeling of comfort, warmth, and kindness just a little while longer. Therefore I took my time gathering my wits. Well, it makes sense to me.
Sorry, I rambled about that, didn't I? Well, honestly, can you blame me?
Anyway, Heero wrote something on his little pad of paper and handed it to me.
--Are you okay?--
I nodded mutely as Heero's arm tightened around my back. The feeling of it around me changed from supportive to, well, like he was just holding me. I snaked my arm back and slipped it around him, returning the gesture. He stiffened for a minute before relaxing, and then laid his head on mine.
Across from us, Quatre and Trowa were sitting very close together. Trowa had a hold of both of Quatre's hands tightly, and Quatre was leaning on the taller boy slightly. They were so damn cute. On his bed, Wufei sat perched on the edge, his elbows resting on his knees and his head cradled in his hands. Meiran was seated beside him (not disturbing the covers, being a ghost and all) and had one arm around his back and the other one around the front of his waist. She seemed to be whispering in his ear, concern blazing off of her in careless billows.
We must have sat like that for half an hour, all lost in our own thoughts, trying to comprehend all the events of the day. Not an easy task when you get woken up at six in the morning by your new roommate who just happens to be some sort of target of an evil conspiracy that just might have a base in the very place you've been living four years of your life. Not to mention the fact that I had almost been raped, but saved just in the nick of time by some mysterious stranger that might be one of Heero's torturers, and I finally found out what happened to Milliardo after years of speculation.
And to top it all off, I had to go to classes tomorrow. Hello, reality, you are such a bitch.
I suppose at some point someone had to break the quiet that had settled over the room, and I know we had some things we needed to talk about before we went to sleep. With this in mind, I opened my mouth, intending to shatter the silence with some off-color or stupid joke, but alas, we were spared from such entertainment. Quatre spoke up first.
Damn. Oh well.
"Well, where should we start?" Quatre asked, sitting up and looking around the room at all of us.
"How about we start at the big reinforced steel door," Wufei answered promptly with a note of sarcasm, simultaneously shooting me a sympathetic glance. I guess he thought I'd get upset if we started with or the run-in with Mueller. Or rather, my run-in with him.
Trowa refocused his gaze back on the present, no longer listening to the little worry demons that had multiplied tenfold since the day started. "Duo said that part of the compound has been under renovation--" He made quote signs with his fingers, and seeing the quiet boy make such a flippant gesture almost made me laugh. "--since he arrived here. It stands to reason that his former roommate, Milliardo, might have been under the same experimentation as Heero is undergoing."
I chewed on that for a moment. It made sense. "Yeah, now that I think on it, they actually did have stuff being moved into that wing for a while, so no one questioned the renovations. I'll bet they were installing and fixing up whatever is behind that steel door. After a while, most of us either forgot it was there or were moved out," I shrugged lightly, not disturbing the little embrace in which I was still captured. "Come to think of it, I never go near that wing. Until Heero showed us that it was where he was taken this afternoon, I had actually almost forgotten it was there. That's really weird, because I make it a habit to explore this damn place. I even know about those secret…uh, never mind, but you know what I'm talking about, right?"
I had just remembered that Heero didn't want to talk about some of this stuff in our room earlier today. In light of what we had discovered this evening, I suddenly didn't want to talk about stuff I wasn't sure I had mentioned before. We'd have to save that for when we could go to the tree or a random hallway.
Wufei nodded, understanding. "Don't want to say too much, right?"
I nodded in return.
"Why did you go walking down the hallway back there, Quatre?" I asked, suddenly curious.
"I was seeing what I could pick up," he replied, obviously trying now not to give too much away.
Heero raised his eyebrows, moved his arm from around me, and wrote something down. After handing the pad to Quatre he immediately resumed his position. (And nope, I did not mind at all.)
--What did you pick up? Write it down, we can destroy it later. --
Quatre took the paper, read it, and wrote something down quickly. Wufei got up and sat beside the blond boy so he could read what was going on, too.
--Pain, sorrow, hatred, amusement --
Quatre had written in a neat cursive writing. He paused for a minute and wrote down one more word in all capitals.
--EVIL--
"Well, that just about sums it up, doesn't it?" I commented dryly, trying to keep down the note of hysteria that was threatening to invade my voice.
I felt Heero nod his head slowly, his chin brushing lightly against my hair, and his arm around my back tightened slightly. Quatre handed him back that pad, which he rested on his lap. After a few moments, he wrote on it, using his other hand. Seems that our dear Heero was ambidextrous. For some reason I wasn't surprised at all.
--What about Mueller? He may try to repeat his earlier actions.--
Well, straight to the point, aren't we?
I tensed up, still embarrassed at what had happened. I had gotten careless, and I couldn't help feeling that the whole incident was my fault. How could I have been so stupid? In retrospect, I now realize that rationally I could have done nothing. This does not make me feel better.
"We cannot under any circumstances let Duo be alone in an area where that bastard can get him," Wufei said heatedly.
"I agree," Quatre said, turning his gaze to me. "Duo, are you going to be okay? Please, don't hold this in, I can tell you're trying to blame yourself for this."
Sometimes it is very annoying to have an empathic friend.
I turned and buried my face in Heero's neck before sitting up and away from him, breaking our semi-hug. "Look, I've been antagonizing that guy for a while. I had it coming to me. It doesn't make it any better… I just wish that if that had to happen, you guys hadn't seen it. That was so humiliating. I can't even say how degrading that was. I still feel disgusting. I want to burn this clothes and rub my skin raw to get rid of this damn feeling." I hugged one of my arms around myself, and I brought my braid over my shoulder so I could play with it with my other hand.
"That feeling probably won't go away for a while," Trowa said softly.
"I know," I nodded miserably, tugging at my braid hard enough to hurt. The physical pain distracted me from my emotional pain. It was only slight compared to what cutting would do for me, but it was all I could do at the moment. I would cut when the others weren't around, probably tomorrow after classes at some point. Yes. It was good to have a plan.
"We have to prevent this from happening again. In light of how powerless we are in this place, the only thing we can really do is stay together and in places where we would be unlikely to encounter those two Thugs," Quatre said sensibly, trying to move the conversation in a more healthy direction.
"Yes, since there are no locks on our door, and we have no weapons, not to mention the fact that no one would believe us, I'd say that would be our only option," Wufei added, rubbing his temples lightly with his fingertips.
"Groovy," I said, determining not to let all that get to me right now. Later, yes, I'd deal with this later. "Well, I hate to break this to you guys, but we've got class tomorrow."
Three groans (and one silent sigh) filled the room. We got ready for bed, making sure that we had our stuff ready for tomorrow so we could sleep as late as possible (and still catch breakfast, of course). Eight o'clock is early, and we all were emotionally exhausted, so I guess it's not strange that we were going to bed so early. Normally I'd be staying up till midnight, at least.
Usually, that's because I have those dream demons tagging me all night, and even though I love sleeping, it also makes me a bit nervous. And lord knows that after Mueller tried to use me as a cheap blow-up doll they would have some great ammunition to throw at me. Hopefully I'd be able to get enough rest that I wouldn't be a total zombie tomorrow, but I really didn’t bet on it.
We turned out the lights, Heero crawled in his little cavern of a bed, and the rest of us got in our beds and attempted to fall asleep gracefully. As soon as my eyes closed and I started to drift off, I knew right away that I was not going to have a restful night.
~ ~ ~ ~
Surprise, surprise, as soon as I hit unconsciousness I was sucked into a dream.
This one started out at the flying stage the other one from earlier today had started. Hurtling through the darkness, I wondered if this was the product of some dream demon picking my mind from the events of the last dream or if it was another one that would relate to Heero. Suddenly feeling myself slow down, and my feet gently touch ground, I realized that I'd find out soon enough and that I should stop worrying because it really wouldn't help matters.
So of course, I continued to worry.
As I stood there, the blindness gradually began to lift from my eyes, and I found myself standing in the middle of a barren desert, all alone save for a blazing fire and a few sticks of wood. Deciding not to question how the wood or the fire came to be in such a barren place, I sat down and began to poke at the flames. I've rarely seen fire in the past few years, and even if this was just a dream, it was still interesting. Besides, it was starting to get cold, and the fire (as fires tend to be) was warm and soothing.
I sat there for a few minutes, hugging myself against the increasingly chilling wind, wondering what was going to happen, when a particularly hard gust of wind caused me to look up from my contemplation of the flames. Directly across the fire from me, bathed in the orange and crimson glow, sat Heero. (Hey, that rhymed! Damn I'm good.)
As before in the dream from this afternoon, his eyes were expressive, and lo and behold, he was smiling! He had a beautiful smile, not too toothy, but just enough movement to bring a measure of warmth to his chiseled features.
I raised my hand up and waved tentatively, for lack of anything else to do. Heero waved back, then walked around the fire and sat down beside me, close enough that our knees brushed, but far enough away that looking at each other would not be uncomfortable.
Hello, Duo. Thank you for coming back.
"Well, you sort of brought me here, so I didn't really choose to come back on my own. But I'm glad I was…invited," I stammered out, a bit unsure of what to say.
Don't be unsure.
'He can read my mine?!' I thought, my eyes widening.
Heero grimaced slightly, and his neck muscles tensed up.
Ye-ye-yes.
'Let me guess, you're not supposed to admit that, are you? Wait, don't answer if it'll hurt,' I though back, amazed that I was already used to this new form of communication.
Heero smiled sadly, his eyes getting that haunted look again.
Suddenly, in the distance, a horrendous shrieking noise sounded. At the same instant, the twilight sky above us rapidly began to gather up into dark purple thunderheads. The wind picked up, blowing the baked sand in our eyes, causing us to squint against their burning stabs. The shrieking noise was getting louder by the second. It was getting closer.
Heero's eyes gained a desperately terrified look in their dark blue depths. He quickly reached forward and pressed his hand to my forehead.
I was immediately assaulted with images flashing across my vision.
A table bathed in scarlet light, restraints clearly visible along its edges, and various painful looking instruments lining the shelves of the nearest wall.
Another flash and I saw Heero strapped down to the table, screaming silently, his thin back arched up in agony as he fought against the restraints, blood trickling from where they cut into his skin.
The next vision was of a younger Heero, about fourteen, almost drowning in a hospital gown that was three sizes too big for him as he walked beside a blond boy that was a few years older than him.
Another, closer flash of the pair's stoic faces as they stalked forward, and I received a healthy shock as I recognized the blond man. It was Milliardo.
Now, another vision, a shadowy form inserting a needle into a very young, very upset little Heero. I hear a harsh scraping of metal on metal that sets my teeth on edge. Little Heero's crying, and he's asking what he did wrong. It's heartbreaking, and as the tiny boy falls unconscious, he is slapped so hard that his head snaps around violently. He was hit just for asking the question.
The next flash is the table again, empty save the bloodstains gracing its smooth metallic surface.
And finally, a flash of Quatre's face captured in an expression of pure agony.
Heero removed his cool hand from my heated forehead, a look of sincere apology on his face, tears of blood leaking from his dark eyes. The shrieking reached us, and the violent wind had tossed up enough sand that my vision was obscured as it buffeted me harshly. I tried to cover my ears to block out the horrendous screaming, but I felt blood seep out between my clenched fingers as my eardrums burst.
Cracking my eyes open, I saw Heero huddled up, hugging his knees, screaming silently in agony. I felt myself being lifted and carried away by the wind, and before long I was once again flying in the blind darkness. I could hear the rustle of leathery wings as I was carried faster and faster through the pitch black, and suddenly the noise of the wings stopped.
I fell.
~ ~ ~ ~
My eyes snapped open, and I found myself staring straight into a pair of pained, dark eyes that were only a foot away from me. Gasping from shock and left over fear from the dream, I clutched my light covers up in front of me, almost like a shield.
Before long, however, I slowly started to calm down. It was just Heero, standing on the edge of his bed and looking at me. It was only a dream, and while it was intensely and completely freaky as hell, it was over. As I gathered my scattered senses back into a neat little pile, I became aware that Heero had also laid one hand on my trembling shoulder.
I opened my mouth to say something, anything at all, but Heero shook his head minutely. He smiled a tiny little smile and held up a piece of paper in front of my face.
--Do you remember?--
I read Heero's neat handwriting, and I felt like crying out of shock. So it had happened, Heero had caused it? I whispered this question softly as I nodded, my hair mussing itself against the rough fibers of my pillowcase.
Heero only nodded, a look of pain crossing his face as he did so. Damn, they had tight programming on the poor guy if just a simple nod could cause such a grimace. He held up another piece of paper to me, and I squinted at the writing in the gloom. He had prepared the notes in advance.
--Are you okay?--
I blinked and considered this question. Was I okay? I was still very freaked out at the moment, not only from the dream that Heero had evidently caused, but also because of the repercussions caused by it. I guessed that it was Heero's way of communicating around the blocks on his subconscious.
Those visions had thoroughly disturbed me, and if there was any truth to them, then the pain that Heero went through was unspeakable (pardon the pun). Not only that, but seeing Milliardo meant that they were linked, and it the ages were right, then maybe Milliardo hadn't died right when Nurse Peacecraft had been told he had died. Also to figure into the answer to Heero's question was the simple fact that I was still mildly (okay, totally) distressed over the other events of the day.
I was jolted from my rambling internal musing by a pair of strong arms easing under me and picking me up. Heero effortlessly stepped off his perch with me, and before I could react, had dumped me carefully onto his own mattress. I blinked in shock as he lay down beside me, drawing his curtain closed. He looked at me, a faint flicker of amusement in his eyes at my shock. Without preamble, he held up another note.
--I will help.--
I glanced at the boy beside me. He eased himself closer to me, and tentatively snaked an arm around me, searching my face for a reaction. I considered for a second, briefly wondering where this would go before deciding that I didn't care too much at the moment. Acting on my instincts, I carefully slid my arm around my friend in return. He blinked sleepily at me, and as we snuggled closer in a comforting hug, I could feel his warm breath tickling my bangs against my forehead. It felt familiar. I felt safe and warm.
I drifted into a sleep full of peaceful dreams.
~ ~ ~ ~
Now, let us discuss the only bad thing about sleep: when you wake up, it as though it never happened. You rarely get to enjoy being completely and utterly relaxed, and most of the time your dreams seem like fading glimpses into another world that you'd really rather not devote the brain cells to remember. What's worst is that the dreams you'd wish you could forget stick in your mind like the taste in your mouth after you eat pretzels. All this occurred to me in a split second as I woke up the next morning.
Let me tell you, I don't think I've ever felt so nice in all my years in this place. Wrapped in a friendly embrace, limbs entangled in comfortable knots with each other, Heero and I had slept the rest of the night. I got the feeling that he was the entire reason the dream demons had left me alone, and with a rush, I remembered that he had sent me a dream of his own creation earlier. Shuddering at the revelations contained in that dream, I snuggled myself closer into the warm embrace of my friend, and I nuzzled my face into the sweet soapy smell of the skin of his neck. I smiled slightly as I felt his strong arms tighten around me, and his chin gently nuzzled the top of my head. Ah, bliss.
But all good things end, that's why they're mostly only found in memories. Quatre chose that exact moment to poke his head in the curtained bunk.
"Morning, Heero! Have you seen…" the blond Arabian's voice trailed off as he got a glimpse of the two of us, his cheeks turning a splendidly cute pink. "Um, sorry." His head left the domain of the bunk, but I could hear him giggling.
Next thing I knew, Trowa had stuck his head in the curtain, and below his chin, Wufei. Meiran just stuck her head through the sheets shrouding the foot of the bunk. Trowa just blinked, smiled very subtly, and left. Wufei grinned cheesily, and was suddenly yanked back by Meiran. She stuck her head back through the sheet curtains again and grinned at me, and mouthed one word at me slowly so I could pick it up. "Cute."
Heero blinked his eyes open blearily at me a few times before becoming fully awake in an instant. He still didn't move, but now he was staring at me, his dark hair sticking up in strange directions. I didn't really know what to do at this point, so I just lay there and stared back. For a split second his eyes softened just a little, and he placed a chaste kiss on my forehead.
I almost passed out.
'Okay, okay, okay, that was nice,' I remember thinking in a rush. 'Does this mean he wasn't just being a pal by helping me sleep last night? Of course he's glomping onto to me like I'm his favorite teddy bear. Oh, and just look at that, I'm hugging onto him the same way. This isn't like friendship, is it? Up until just a second ago, I'm pretty sure that I could have imagined any of the others doing the same, but that little kiss, maybe it means something? Oh God, do I want it to mean something? Does this make me gay? Does that make him gay? Does that really matter? I only met the guy yesterday and I feel like I've known him forever…well, that was the same way with the other guys, too. Oh, wow, this is too much information. Brain threatening to overload! Eep.'
I decided to look up at Heero and smile. There, that was safe. Oh God, I was treading water in the uncharted territory of a deep ocean of stuff I never even thought about before.
I said before that I have no fear of danger, that thing about suicidal people rarely being afraid to die. Well, I never said that we didn't get nervous.
With a silent sigh, he squeezed his arms around me tighter for just a second, then untangled himself from me. We both sat up, and I'm sure my bangs were doing very strange things, considering that this was the worst time for them to do such embarrassing things. I smoothed them down quickly, grimacing slightly as I tasted my nasty, rank, smelly morning breath. Good thing Heero had morning breath, too. Mutual morning breath, I decided, was okay.
So we got up, leaving the bunk and getting ready for our lovely, evil first day of classes. Damn. And here I had almost forgotten.
As I brushed my teeth in our bathroom, I considered my reflection. A worry demon was sitting on my shoulder, poking at my ear with a tiny little dagger. I flicked him off, and he disappeared into thin air in his downward descent. Rolling my eyes, I returned my gaze to watch myself clean my teeth.
Yesterday felt like a distant memory. Heero's early arrival, our little conversation in the hollow tree, Heero being taken away, the dream I had while napping, the exploration of the "renovated" wing, my little encounter ('Yuck,' I thought, brushing my teeth more vigorously.), and even last night's dream seemed like ancient, long gone history. It was as though I had always known about those things, as though they had always been a part of my life. I had adjusted so quickly, it was unnerving when considering all this with a detached, rational mindset.
Never one to stay in such a rational state of mind, I dismissed these thoughts as I spit the toothpaste into the sink basin. I'd worry about it later, preferably when I should be paying attention to sewing patterns in home economics or something.
Blah.
~ ~ ~ ~
We left the room early enough that we had time to grab some breakfast from the asstastic smelling cafeteria. As a special "Back to Class Breakfast!" (do note the exclamation point, evidently it's very important) the cooks had made biscuits, artificially grown eggs, and synthetic bacon. It was wonderful, and we took our food to a semi-distant hallway to eat it, noting the higher than usual numbers of patients crowding the nearest halls. Ah, yes, like a swarm of locusts the last of the new students had finally descended upon us.
Realistically speaking, most of them would be gone inside a month, either determined to not be "manageable" as students in our facility or just not compatible with the curriculum. Those kids that fall under these categories either go to the more permanent asylum on the other side of the colony or, if they're very rich, are transferred to another similar facility on another colony for another try. Even though this place is just an asylum offering a formal education, it really is hard to find people that are considered compatible with this environment. Some loonies just can't be with other people, don't do well with authority, or are just too damn miserable to learn anything at all. Looking around as we walked through the hallways lined with new students, it was sobering to know that half of them would soon be doomed into a world filled with ignorance and padded walls. This place really is a last resort for many of us young patients. In light of what we were discovering lately, it really was something to be depressed about.
When we finally found a relatively deserted hallway we plopped down in a circle on the floor and started to dig into our gloriously scrumptious food. We only had about thirty minutes to eat before class started, but that really was plenty of time, considering our entire world was contained in this one (big) building.
As we munched, I noticed that Quatre would frequently glance at me, then over at Heero, then down at his food. It was getting to be a habit. Soon, Trowa was following Quatre's gaze, a curious light shining in his eyes. After a few more times, Wufei had caught on, and was looking strangely at Trowa. Heero sat oblivious, efficiently eating his food, chewing neatly and precisely. After a few minutes in this circle of strange looks, I couldn't take it any longer. Besides, they deserved to know.
"Okay, let me guess, Quatre, you want to know why I was in Heero's bunk this morning, don't you? I swear all you have to do is ask. Well, unless of course you were thinking dirty thoughts about it our something," I grinned, letting the blond know I was just joking. Heero looked up at us, snorted silently, and went back to eating. I took this as his consent to talk about the dreams.
"Well, the question had crossed my mind," he replied.
"Mine too, actually," Wufei added, Meiran nodding behind him. I noticed little waves of curiosity fanning off of her in smooth blue waves.
"Well, to make a really long, complicated story as short as possible," I paused to wipe my mouth. "Okay. Remember when I took that nap yesterday and had a nightmare, Wufei? You know, when Heero was gone at his session? I told you that Heero was in it, trying to tell me something and there was lots of pain?"
Wufei nodded, his hair coming loose from where he had tucked it behind his ears. He pushed the dark strands back in mild annoyance.
"Well, I had another version of that dream last night, and quite frankly it scared the shit out of me. It turns out, Heero was trying to tell me something. Evidently he can somehow manipulate my dreams. It's a great way to communicate, he showed me lots of important memories involving his sessions and stuff. The only problem is that the mental blocks catch up with us far too quickly," I said, glancing over at Heero occasionally to make sure he had no objections to what I was saying. I didn't want to say anything untrue or anything that he might be uncomfortable with the others knowing.
"When I woke up, I was really freaked out. Heero was standing there, asking me if I remembered and if I was okay. I did remember, and that's when I made the connect that he was controlling the dream, and I realized that I was really and truly not okay at all," I grinned at my silent friend. He nodded once in agreement, then shrugged lightly before taking a small bite of egg.
"So I slept beside him for comfort for the rest of the night. And if my guess is correct, he also made sure that I didn't have any dream demons bother me with any nightmares. Am I right, Mr. Yuy?" I quirked my eyebrows at Heero. He nodded once, without looking up. I got the feeling he was avoiding my eyes. Huh, maybe he was embarrassed or something.
"Well, that would explain that," Trowa stated simply. He then considered for a second before continuing. I got the feeling he was listening to a particular worry demon that was hovering over his left ear. "What were the important things you mentioned seeing in this dream?"
I wiped my mouth with my napkin as I finished my food. I glanced over at Heero to see if it was all right if I went ahead and told the others what he had shown me. He nodded sharply before focusing his gaze on the others to gauge their reactions. "Well, several things, such as a younger Heero with Milliardo, my dead roommate."
"So is the guy not dead or what?" Wufei asked, his brow knit into a thin line of concentration on his forehead.
I shrugged and pointed to Heero. He mimicked my shrug and waved his hand over his head vaguely. So he either didn't know or couldn't say. Damn those mental blocks, they are such a pain in the ass (or in this case, the head).
"Anything else?" Quatre asked, checking the wall clock. We had fifteen minutes before classes would start, so we'd need to wrap this up quickly.
"Well, there was this metal table with straps on it. I'm pretty sure it's where a lot of this stuff happens," I said, deliberating on how to say the next unpleasant part. "And there was something else, too."
I chewed my lower lip anxiously. How the hell was I supposed to tell them about seeing Quatre screaming in pain? Was it the future, the past, a fear, or what? How would Heero know? Maybe that was why they experimented on him. Hell, maybe that was a side effect. It was all very intriguing and scary.
"Just say it," Trowa stated. Leave it to Trowa to want things said as quickly and painlessly as possible.
"Heero showed me a vision of Quatre screaming in what looked to be terribly excruciating pain. Cheerful, I know," I stared down at the floor for a few seconds before looking up to gauge the others' reactions for myself.
Quatre looked nervous, and who could blame him? Wufei looked thoughtful but slightly shocked at what I had said. Trowa had edged closer to Quatre in a gesture of comfort. Heero was watching me.
"Well, when I was first diagnosed, my father's surgeon recommended electricity as a treatment," Quatre said quietly. "The guy said it was used in the pre-colony days. What he didn't say was that it was made illegal because it not only didn't work, but it was very, very painful," He shuddered at the memory before continuing. "I don't know how Heero could have known that, but it hurt terribly. Maybe he picked up on the memory in my mind or something. Perhaps in a nightmare?"
We all looked in unison at Heero. He just shook his head. The blue-eyed Japanese boy pulled out his little notepad and wrote on it for a second.
--I can't read minds.--
Okay, so shoot that idea down like a satellite on fire. So Heero wasn't psychic. God, I could only hope that he wasn't able to see the future. That would not be cool.
Wufei glanced up at the wall clock, "I hate to break this conversation up, but we have five minutes to get to our first class."
Well, isn't it wonderful how time flies when you're worrying about possible psychic phenomenon and torture?
And now for a fate worse than any sort of death, the worst torture I could conceive of taking place in my immediate future…
Home EC.
~ ~ ~ ~
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