By: Spooks
~ ~ ~ ~
Ah yes, because we had gotten carried away with our conversation at breakfast, Wufei and I managed to make it to the Home EC classroom mere moments before we would have been counted tardy. In fact, the minute hand on the clock clicked onto eight the same second that we dashed into the room. I felt all dramatic and daring as we hurried to the back row of the classroom to claim our desks. Well, okay, I actually felt stupid and was completely out of breath. I hate being late.
As soon as we had slumped down in our seats, frantically trying to catch our breath without panting too loudly, I noticed that the teacher was looking curiously at us. Well, at least it wasn't the same teacher I'd had last year. I don't think she liked me after the apron incident. Trust me, you don't want to know.
After a few moments of silence, the dark-haired young woman shrugged her shoulders, apparently deciding to let our harried entrance slide for the moment. She brushed her short hair out of her face and gathered her thoughts. I glanced over at Wufei, and he raised his eyebrows at me and smiled slightly. I think he was mildly amused and embarrassed at the same time. I guess he didn't like being late, either. Meiran, of course, was sitting on top of the empty desk beside him, laughing lightly at our discomfort. Little ripples of amusement floated off of her and filled the room with a golden glow before dissipating completely.
I looked around the room to see if there was anyone I knew in the class. I recognized a few faces, but the majority of the class was made up of new patients. I expected that half of them would be gone within a month. Such is the nature of this place, you either sink or swim in your first couple of weeks, and if you sink, well…you get tossed into the proverbial ocean. If you're not compatible, then you're wasting their time. Warm and fuzzy, I know.
I was jarred out of my cynical musings when our teacher cleared her throat and started talking, "Hello, class. My name is Ms. Hilde Schbeiker, which is German, before you ask. You can just call me Hilde, because if you call me Ms. Schbeiker, you'll make me feel old." She wrinkled her nose at that, then smiled brightly at the class, "So, welcome to Home EC."
She then proceeded to go over the safety procedures and material we'd be covering this year. Immediately I found my mind wandering into far away places. I let my gaze slide away from the chattering Hilde as she started to talk about how not to microwave body parts. That actually brought me back to reality for a moment, until I noticed she was reading verbatim from a sheet of papers that fairly screamed, "Official documents to read out loud unless you want to be sued!"
First I looked around the room again, noting who among the newbies was paying attention, who was doodling in their notebooks (not wire bound, by the way), and who was just staring off into space and drooling. I glanced over at Wufei, who was also looking around the room. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear and glanced from me to the door. I looked over at where he was looking, and I almost felt my eyes pop out of my head, roll across my desk, and fall onto the floor with wet plopping noises. Two of the biggest orderlies had just walked into the room and stood at either side of the doorway, large arms crossed over their chests.
Hilde glanced at the two, nodded slightly, then continued to talk. What was going on? Why were these orderlies here? Where they supposed to be watching our class or what? Maybe it was a new rule, extra insurance and protection for everyone. Another thought occurred to me, if these two orderlies were here, then the Thug faction was undoubtedly also pulling this new guard duty. That meant I'd have to deal with them in classes, too. Well, that was definitely not good.
The rest of the class went by uneventfully, except for one guy trying to climb into the refrigerator. Evidently he thought he was a glass of orange juice. He didn't think he'd be as tasty or as nutritious if he weren't kept frosty cold. [1]
Weird.
~ ~ ~ ~
It turned out that Wufei's second class was in the opposite direction of mine, so we parted ways at the door. I maneuvered my way down the hall, being careful to try not to touch anyone. You never know when you're passing a paranoid or someone who might find you threatening. It's safer to keep to yourself around her until they filter out some of the new people.
I got to the chemistry classroom and found Trowa and Quatre sitting at one of the back tables. They were talking quietly together, not paying much attention to the rest of the entering students. Their auras were mingling and leaking into each other blatantly. Wow, must have been an interesting conversation.
When I sat down on one of the stools at their table, though, they looked up. Quatre smiled, "Hi Duo! How was your first class?"
"Well, as boring as expected, except for having a couple of big orderlies guarding the doorway," I shrugged. "Where there any in your first class?"
Trowa nodded, "Yes, but I did not know they were unusual."
"Yeah, ditto," Quatre agreed, his brow furrowing in thought. "One of the guys in my class was Alex."
"Ew, I'm sorry," I responded immediately, earning a chuckle from my two friends.
Before our conversation could progress any further, the teacher, a large, tall man with strangely shaped dark hair cleared his throat and started to talk. As before, a few minutes into class two big orderlies showed up and positioned themselves at the doorway.
As our teacher, Mr. Rashid (He told us to call him by his first name, I couldn't even pronounce his last name. Quatre could, though. He said it was Arabian.) read us the safety procedures for the class, I again let my mind wander. I hate the first day of classes, it's all the same boring drivel. The teacher gets up at the front of the room and reads the mandatory stuff so no one gets sued, which, by the way, I think is really stupid. Everyone has to pay to come here, so isn't that enough? Ah well, I don't know, I guess the rest of us have to suffer for that little bitty percent of assholes out there. Such is the way of the world.
Finally the class ended, and we were able to leave. Trowa and Quatre were in the same class, which just happened to be across from where I was headed for Calculus, so we walked together. As we made our way through the hallways, I noticed the presence of some new male orderlies I hadn't seen before. Standing in pairs, the big guys were stationed at every corner of the hallway with their arms crossed over their chests. Why the hell did we have so many guards? Did we get more funding or something? Maybe we had some exceptionally volatile new students.
I parted ways with my two friends and ventured into my classroom, only to see Heero was already sitting in the back of the classroom, in a desk beside the wall. He was sitting with his back to the wall, and his posture was defensive. Undaunted, I waltzed over and plopped down in the desk beside his and grinned over in his general direction. He caught my gaze and rolled his eyes subtly before returning to his inspection of the entering students.
After a few minutes the small classroom was only half-filled. Taking a quick head count, I realized that fewer than ten people were in our class. That was good because the teacher could pay more attention to us, help us more…but bad for the same reasons. I swear, some teachers have radar that knows when you either didn't do your homework or aren't paying attention. And that, my friends, is when they choose to call on you to do the most complicated problem they can think of on the board. Sadistic bastards.
Speaking of sadistic bastards, our teacher was late showing up to class, so I took the opportunity to mess with Heero a little.
I decided that it was time to break Heero away from his observations, mainly because a few people were starting to look at him strangely. That's not a good thing, because you never know what the hell is going on in some people's heads in this place. You've really got to try and be unnoticeable, it's much safer.
This being my complete motivation (yeah, right), I leaned over and lightly poked Heero in the ribs. You would not believe this, but Heero Yuy is extremely ticklish! He jumped at the contact and squirmed in his seat. He even gave an involuntary little quirk of his mouth that would have surely been accompanied by a squeak if he could talk. After seeing such a strong reaction from the normally composed boy, I immediately poked him again. He was trying to hold himself back from shaking, trying not to look like he was ticklish. As a result, he looked too cute for words.
Evidently Heero didn't think so, because in the midst of my laughter I realized that I was on the receiving end of one damn heated, pissed off glare. I just laughed harder, of course. Not only was he squirming away from me, but now his ears were turning red, too. I shot a glance at the rest of the room, and took an internal sigh of relief when I noticed that no one was paying attention to us anymore. Not only had I gotten a nice reaction out of Heero, but I had diverted attention from him. Ah, the ability to kill two birds with one stone. Go me.
Now that I had my fun and distracted the other kids, I stopped poking Heero so he wouldn't kill me. I grinned at him, "Sorry, man, but you were getting some odd looks. You don't need to draw so much attention to yourself, okay?"
He just blinked at me, a silent question clouding his dark eyes.
"What, you want to know why?" I asked.
He nodded once.
"Well, you don't know why half these people are here. Some could be dangerous," I paused as Heero snorted silently. "Okay, so you don't care if they're dangerous. But remember, we're always being watched in here for aberrant behavior. The psyches get nervous if you draw attention to yourself. Besides, it's just all around safer to blend into your surroundings rather than stand out, at least in classes." I shrugged, not really knowing how to explain exactly what I meant. Hopefully he'd get the idea.
I guess he understood, because he nodded once. He then took out a piece of paper from his notebook and wrote on it.
--Did you have Thugs come in and guard your other classes? Is that normal?--
Ah, the ever-astute Mr. Yuy had noticed that too.
"Not all the male orderlies here belong in the Thug category, Heero," I replied, handing back the note. "And yeah, there's been two in every class I've been in today, as well as in the hallways. I don't know why, we didn't have them last year. Most of 'em are new, too. Maybe we got more funding or something." I shrugged.
--I don't like it.--
"Neither do I," I paused and looked up in time to see a blond man walk into the room, followed by two new orderlies. "It just seems weird. Fishy, ya know?"
Heero nodded in response. Before we could communicate any more, though, the blond man at the front of the room started talking in a smooth, very cultured voice.
"Greeting, students. My name is Mr. Khushrenada," He wrote his name on the chalkboard in neat capital letters, then put the chalk down and brushed his hands off, careful not to get any chalk dust onto his clothing. "Judging from the size of the class, I'd say we have some very intelligent students here. Keep this in mind, because I will only expect the very best from you. If you do not give me your best effort, I shall have you put into another class."
Oh, wonderful, we have a teacher that actually expects something from us. Guess there would be no sliding through on this class. Actually, I was secretly pleased. I love a good challenge.
Mr. Khushrenada went on to explain his grading policy, then he told us all a little bit about himself. He was also one of the new administrators, and actually was an acting vice-principal, which was why he had been late for class. It turns out he has teaching and psychology degrees out the wazoo from some very impressive universities all over Earth and the colonies. Why the heck he had decided to work here is beyond me. It was obvious he could've had a job at any institution he desired.
Cal class seemed to fly by, and before I knew it I was saying goodbye to Heero outside the classroom door. The next class, Literature, passed uneventfully. Wufei and I sat in the back of the classroom (again) and listened to the teacher, Ms. Noin, ramble on about what exciting things we'd be covering in the worlds of metaphysical poetry. Again, the two guards/orderlies were guys I hadn't seen before. Judging from their facial expressions, I had a feeling that the Thugs were going to be gaining few new members. Not good news, not at all.
I guess I should stop to explain why I always migrate towards the back of the classroom. Well, it's pretty simple, I can see everyone, and most of them can't see me. That way if I actually bother to participate in class, I can be sure that I'm not the only one with my hand up or whatever. Besides, teachers tend to be more surprised when the back-of-the-room students do well. Some respect us more for not sucking up, some pull us aside and ask us why we're so apathetic towards the class. Either way, it's interesting.
And what would life here in Bryce be, if not interesting?
I'm telling you, though, I don't think I've ever looked forward to lunch so much in my entire life. Wufei and I, trailed by Meiran, hurried to the lunchroom. When we arrived, we saw the other guys had already gotten their trays and were waiting for us. So we got our plates and joined them, heading out to eat somewhere besides the smelly cafeteria. You see, all students eat at the same time. I, personally think it's because the administrators are too damn lazy to figure out shifts. They'd much rather give us a longer lunch period and let us all hash it out amongst ourselves. As long as we eat, they don't care when in the period we go get our food. Although nine times out of ten, it's mostly us guys fighting to be at the front of the lunch lines, while the girls come later in the period. I guess the ladies just aren't willing to brave us crazy teenage boys and our huge appetites.
So anyway, Wufei and I got our food and joined the others. We then found a nice, empty hallway and sat down in a circle to eat. For a few moments we were silent, save for the sound of munching and the occasional gulping noises. We are not exactly the most talented in the way of table manners, well, except for Quatre, that is. He can wolf down food and look polite at the same time. It's damn near amazing. Okay, and I guess Heero eats like a damn machine, all efficient and such. Well, and Wufei's actually rather dignified, too. Oh, yeah, and Trowa's food just seems to disappear from his plate.
Okay, all right, fine, so I'm the only one that isn't talented in the way of table manners. At least everyone knows I'm enjoying my food.
After the edge had been taken off of our appetites, we started talking about the usual first-day-of-school type stuff. You know, the first impressions we had of our teachers, the other students, basically what normal kids in a normal school would discuss. Then, of course, since we are not normal kids, and we are definitely not in a normal school, our conversation took the inevitable turn towards the places that normal feared to tread.
"Yeah, well, I got bored in trig and kept trying to get readings on those guard guys, but for some reason I just couldn't get anything very clearly," I heard Quatre say to Wufei.
"Oh yeah?" I asked, turning to my blond friend.
"It's weird, even with Heero I could tell that he was sort of shielded," Quatre paused to take a sip of his drink. "With some of these guys I couldn't pick up anything at all. Have you tried any of your talents on them, Duo?"
I blinked. Come to think of it, I hadn't used any of my abilities on anyone at all today, save for the involuntary stuff I normally picked up. I had been so bored in class, so distracted with my own thoughts, and so damn wrapped up within myself thinking about the various bad things that had happened yesterday, that it hadn't even occurred to me to really bother with peeking at anyone's auras. I then realized that I still hadn't answered Quatre's question, and now he was looking at me strangely, as were my other friends.
"Um, no? I've been preoccupied," I squeaked out, before looking down at my food. God, I had been slipping lately. This afternoon I'd definitely be breaking out my blades. I really needed some sort of clarity.
"Oh, okay," Quatre shrugged, giving me a strange look. Oh, God, I hope he hadn't picked up on that last thought. I guess he didn’t, though, because he wouldn't have let it pass if he had.
Or maybe he had picked up on it, and maybe he understood my reasoning. I still don't know for sure. I'm not sure if I ever will.
"Meiran went looking around for a while in the middle of my biology class, which, by the way, was very, very boring. I glanced through the book, and I already know that stuff. I think I might ask to get transferred to chemistry with the rest of you guys," Wufei said. Meiran swatted the back of his head and said something to him, annoyance glimmering off of her. Whatever she said made Trowa laugh and Wufei blush.
"Okay, okay, geez, I'm getting to that, woman! You don't have to threaten me! Anyway, she went looking around and she says that only a couple of the other classrooms are guarded with orderlies. Usually there aren't guards at all, or there is only one of them. She thinks that only selected rooms are being guarded, and it seems that they are the rooms we're in. Are you satisfied?" He turned to Meiran, who just nodded and smiled angelically at her husband and wrapped her ethereal arms around his neck gently. Wufei rolled his eyes and after a few seconds, returned her smile with one of his own.
"That is a possibility," Trowa said, considering.
Heero handed me the note he had been writing.
--Maybe it has something to do with everything else that is going on.--
Oh, there was a wonderful thought. It's all connected! A vast, far-reaching conspiracy with roots in every aspect of our lives! How cheerful! Really. I'm not being sarcastic at all.
"Let's hope not," I joked out loud, feeling a distinctive sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. It didn't effect my appetite, though, don't worry about that. "It's something to keep in mind, though."
I do believe that everyone else was unnerved by the topic of conversation, because after a few seconds of silent munching, Wufei changed the subject.
"So, we've got individual psych sessions after we finish eating?" Wufei asked me.
"Uh, yeah, sometimes you go in for the normal sessions, sometimes they have a panel of people, other times they do those physical type tests, like the inkblot or hypnosis," I replied, thankful that we had changed the subject. "I love inkblot tests, it's so fun to mess with the Drones. Once I said something looked like a big bloody shoe, and next thing I said was a flying snot-covered sock. I kept going on and on, each thing related to clothing covered with some sort of bodily fluid. I was very creative. When we got to the final thing, I said it looked like ink blotted on paper. The Drone loved that, let me tell you."
And so the conversation went along in a much lighter tone, at least until we had fifteen minutes left in the lunch break. We had all finished eating and were just sitting around talking, or observing, in Heero's case. Then, of course, it had to be ruined by those damn Thugs. I was reading something Heero had wrote down, my back facing the length of the hallway. I didn't notice their approach until I felt a malevolent presence burning at my back.
Glancing up, I saw Meiran floating beside Wufei with her arms and aura wrapping protectively around him. Trowa and Quatre had edged closer together, and Heero was glaring like there was no tomorrow. I groaned internally and slowly pivoted around and looked up into the leering faces of Alex and Mueller. The silence was thick as I quickly scooted away from them, into the center of our little circle, causing empty trays to skitter harshly across the linoleum floor.
Mueller laughed contemptuously, sneering down at us, then letting his gaze settle on me. "Don't worry about that, now, little Maxwell. We're hear to take Yuy to his session."
A mere glance in Heero's direction proved to be enough to cause me to wince. He was radiating anger mixed with fear and pain, but his expression was completely blank.
"Why are you getting him this early?" Trowa asked, his voice as cool and steady as his stare.
Alex shrugged, "They don't tell us these things. We're just do what we're told," he answered before turning to loom in Heero's general direction, "Now, come on, your little pals can take your tray back to the cafeteria for you."
Heero just glowered up at the two Thugs for a second before gracefully rising to his feet. Immediately Mueller grabbed his arm, his meaty hand covering the bruise he had made yesterday when he had gotten Heero for his session then. Alex laughed and followed his brother in the direction of the renovated wing.
We sat there and watched the trio make their way down the hallway, Alex and Mueller's heavy boots making solid thumps and scuffing the shiny floor as they walked down the long silent corridor. When they turned the corner at the end of the hall, I let out the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding.
Seeing as how the Thugs' little intrusion had kind of ruined our good moods, we just picked up and took our trays (I got Heero's) and returned them. We then went to the psych wing and sat in the hallway there, waiting for the exact time of our appointments to roll around. Sure enough, before we knew it, we were going into our separate little rooms to our separate little Drones, all to listen to our same separate psychobabble for the day.
You know what? I've become a lot more cynical since I've found out I wasn't really crazy.
~ ~ ~ ~
I walked into my assigned Drone's office and immediately noticed that this Drone was new. Oh, goody, I can disillusion another aspiring young Freud wannabe. Ah, the joys of living in an asylum.
The Drone introduced herself as Dr. Po, and told me to just call her Sally. She looked to be fresh out of school, and a glance at one of the framed certificates hung on the wall proved my guess to be correct. I was surprised with Sally's approach. She didn't try and impress me, and she didn't even ask me about my Problems. She just chatted amiably with me about the weather controls, the school, classes, and general little bits of small talk.
About fifteen minutes through the hour, though, we had run out little things to chat about, and we were just sitting there quietly. Sally had told me that I didn't have to tell her anything today until I was ready, and for the moment she would be content playing solitaire while I considered if I wanted to talk. The only condition was that I couldn't just go to sleep. Not questioning this, I just sat and watched her play solitaire (she played the game with these neat holographic cards. They were cool.).
Despite my best efforts, my mind started to wander, and before long I was staring at nothing and daydreaming. I found myself reviewing all that had happened yesterday, from the talk in the hollow tree to waking up and finding Heero standing by my bed. I then found myself planning how I would get my cutting done this afternoon. I'd have to be careful, even though the others knew about it, I was pretty sure that they wouldn't just let me go, "Hey guys, don't mind me, just gonna hack at my arms for a few minutes!"
Naw, that wouldn't go over well. So I planned to sneak the blades out casually before the others got to the room, hid 'em in the bathroom, and then go at it with them later tonight while I was "using the bathroom." If worse came to worse, I could probably sneak them out while they were in the room with me, if I was careful.
Now, where would I do it? My upper arms had all healed up, so it'd probably best to do them. Oh, and not are parallel this time, they looked too deliberate, not to mention that the scarring would be hard to explain later. Yeah, I realize how twisted it is to think so damn rationally about something so bad, but that's the nature of my depression. Bite me.
So basically I was sitting there, just allowing my mind to wander into such unhealthy directions, my eyes glazed over as I daydreamed. It's a state I like to retreat into, usually quite comforting. Suddenly a wave of dizziness hit me, and before I knew it, I was no longer staring at Sally's holocards. Well, scratch that, I still was, but it was as though I were viewing a photograph that's negative had been double exposed. I closed my eyes, willing the sensation to go away, but instead, it just got stronger. As I watched Sally put the ten of clubs onto the jack of hearts, the feeling intensified tenfold.
Duo!
Heero's voice was filling my head, screaming my name in weird mixture of pain and horror. I scrunched my eyes tightly closed and tried desperately to hold onto consciousness as images flashed onto the back of my eyelids in rapid succession.
A vision of a younger Heero, dressed in a giant hospital gown, staring at a table in front of him.
A close up of the table, and I can see various building blocks strewn around its surface haphazardly.
Another vision, a longer one, this time of Heero at the age he is now, again strapped to that awful metal table. My friend had electrodes taped to his temples and various parts of his body. I couldn't make out any more of the room, but there was a lot of movement around the peripheral areas of the table.
Heero then started screaming again, and his face was turning red from the effort he was putting against the restraints binding his wrists and ankles. I could plainly see the veins in his neck pulse as he inhaled in sharp, silent gasps. His eyes were closed tightly, but not tight enough to stop the tears leaking from the corners in tiny rivers of pain.
I felt my heart ache within my chest at the sight, and all I wanted to do was rip those damn electrodes off of him, free him from the restraints, and get him the hell out of there. Out of instinct, I felt my aura flare up, and I could see the edges of it burning brightly at the brink of my vision, reaching out and trying to merge with the vision of Heero in pain.
The vision focused suddenly on Heero's face, and I could see a single bead of sweat trickle down his forehead and land soundlessly onto the shiny metal surface of the table, mingling with the dark crimson that already stained its surface.
Everything froze. Heero's eyes opened with a snap, staring blue bullets of clear comprehension right into me.
I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt like my heart and mind was going to explode, so I tore my eyes open. The visions of Heero's dark haunted gaze lingered in front of me for a moment before fading away completely. I blinked in wide-eyed shock, fighting to control myself. Looking quickly at Sally to see if she was paying attention or had noticed my distress, I received another shock.
As I watched, she carefully put a card down on the jack of hearts. It was the ten of clubs.
'But that just happened, right before the vision! Maybe she's playing another game, maybe it's just a fucked-up coincidence!' I remember thinking frantically, trying to rationalize the impossible in my mind. But a look at the clock and a small dose of common sense ruled that out immediately.
As I quietly sat and continued to watch Sally place her game of solitaire to the end, I could think of no other explanation. It was absolutely ridiculous, but it was the only thing possible.
Time had hiccuped.
Time is not supposed to hiccup.
~ ~ ~ ~
These new thoughts kept me going for most of the rest of my time in Sally's office. About ten minutes before the end of the session, however, a knock interrupted my musings.
"Come in," Sally said loudly, tossing me a slightly confused look.
The door opened immediately and in stepped Mueller. Of all the damn people I didn't want to deal with at the moment…argh. God must really hate me or something.
"What is it, sir?" Sally asked politely, getting straight to the point.
"Maxwell needs to go to his room now, Doctor. Apparently one of his roommates isn't feeling well and may need persuasion to go to class this afternoon. I was sent retrieve Maxwell. Those were my orders," the Thug said quickly, not looking directly at Sally, or at me, for that matter.
Sally waved her hand at him, "Okay, fine, just give me about thirty more seconds with him, okay?"
"But, Doct--"
"Leave now," Sally fairly growled at him.
Mueller left.
I felt myself grinning despite myself. Mueller had run out of the room like a scolded dog. Then I realized that Sally was now looking at me. I felt my grin fade.
"Yes?" I asked innocently.
"Duo, you realize that every session you have with me will not be like this one. Next time we will have to discuss some of your problems and hallucinations, okay? Please realize that I will not judge you for anything you say, nor discuss it with anyone outside this room. I want you to trust me, and I sincerely do want to help you in any way that I can. Please remember that when I see you next week. No fooling around," She said, looking directly into my eyes with a no-nonsense glare.
"Okay," I squeaked out. Damn, at least she said what she meant.
"Okay," Sally broke into a broad smile that positively lit up her face. "Now, go on. I hope your friend is okay."
"Thanks," I said as I left, waving over my shoulder. "See ya!"
Outside in the hallway, I glanced up a Mueller's face, expecting to see some sort of lurid or malicious smirk. Instead, he wasn't even looking at me, but staring down the corridor. I cleared my throat to get his attention, and he looked down at me angrily. Oops, guess I had derailed his little (toy) train of thought.
We turned in the direction of my room, with me leading the way. I was surprised that he was still following me, it wasn't as though he could do anything to me in these crowded hallways. He might get caught.
But anyway, I wasn't really too worried about myself at the moment. Instead all my thoughts were on Heero and what sort of terrible things they had done to him in his session today that would require me to help him make it to class. I mean, hell, if they're doing some sort of experiments on him, couldn't they at least try and be subtle? Don't they care that someone might get suspicious? Granted, the Drones aren't the most admirable lot when it comes to common sense, but any moron could pick up on Heero's bad condition when he came back from his sessions. Of course, they had managed to hide whatever they were doing in the renovated wing from me for four damn years. Does that make me a moron? Naw.
Soon we reached the room. As I reached out to open the door, I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder. An icy bolt of fear traversed my spine at the contact. I had to restrain myself from shuddering.
"Maxwell, your time is still coming," Mueller hissed down at me. Perhaps I had pissed him off by not cowering before him as we walked down the halls, because he sure sounded angry.
I tried to shake his hand away from my shoulder. "Look, I don't care at the moment. I need to go in and check on my friend," I hissed right back at him. I didn't have time for his shit. Let him get mad at me, I needed to see if Heero was all right.
Mueller grinned and took a step back, dropping his hand. "Feisty today, aren't we? I'm supposed to stay here until you have checked up on Yuy and then escort you both to your last class," His smile turned into a leer and he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall.
"Peachy," I replied and fairly leapt into the room, shutting the door solidly behind me. I leaned against the smooth wood for a second. I could hear Mueller snickering all the way through the door. Yuck.
Then my reason for being here in the first place hopped back into the forefront of my mind and smacked me as I surveyed the room. Just as I had expected, Heero had retreated into his shrouded bunk and closed the sheet-curtains tightly. I couldn't see him, but my Lord, I could definitely see the visible pain seeping out of his aura through the thin cloth barrier.
I padded quietly up to the bunk and stood there a second in indecision. After a few seconds I took a deep breath and slowly pulled open the sheets shrouding the bunk. My heart almost broke right in there within my chest when I caught sight of my silent friend. He was curled up in a fetal position, soaked in sweat, and trembling uncontrollably. His eyes were shut tightly, but his face was otherwise emotionless. But above all, the pain radiating from him was the most disturbing.
Rolling off of him in dark waves, I almost dodged the dark waves out of instinct. Deep purple in color, they were almost solid, coming close to the tangible. Wherever they touched the shadows in Heero's little haven, shadow demons sprouted up and withered away spontaneously. It was one of the most chilling things I had ever seen.
Before I realized what I was doing, I had sat down and was pulling Heero into my lap, my arms wrapping automatically around him. I felt him latch onto me mindlessly, like a newborn baby clutches his mother's finger. I smoothed his dark hair out of his face and murmured wordless sounds of comfort, feeling a definite choking panic start to rise in my throat as a few of the dark waves of pain rolled up and into my face, momentarily clouding my vision and stabbing my eyes. Every time one of the dark waves touched me, I felt my skin flare up as though it were being pricked with thousands of tiny needles.
Then my hand felt something amiss, I looked down at the side of Heero's head. Right over his temple was a sticky residue. The vision of Heero with electrodes stuck all over him came hurtling back to me in full force. Had they been doing that to him while I was sitting, bored and daydreaming in Sally's office?
Oh, now there was a wonderful thought.
After a few minutes, I felt Heero's grip on my middle loosen. I looked down to see those haunted eyes looking up at me in hazy confusion.
"Hi," I whispered, not really knowing what to say. "Uh, are you alright? They came and got me from my session to check up on you. We still have to go to our last class in a few minutes."
Heero blinked a few times at me before pushing away, landing on his ass with a light thump on the floor. He ran a hand through his dark hair, tousling it back to its normal messy style. He then closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths, and gathered himself back into that tight little ball of control again. The transformation was downright amazing, and when he opened his eyes he looked at me with clear eyes.
"Well, I guess we're ready then?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "I got your messages earlier. Do you want to discuss them later?"
He sighed silently and nodded once, then shot me a grateful look as I helped him up off the floor. He adjusted his shirt, nodded again, and started toward the door. I followed, and Mueller fell into step behind us as we made our way to the art room, just like a really big, really ugly shadow with bad hair.
~ ~ ~ ~
When we walked into the art room, I was relieved to see that we weren't late, but I was happier still that we had finally ditched Mueller. I motioned towards one of the empty back tables, and Heero lead the way towards it. As we maneuvered around the other tables and kids, I noticed that there were big boxes of nontoxic crayons sitting on each table. Oh goody, back to kindergarten we go. Next thing we'll get to eat some play-doe. And no, I'm not being sarcastic here. I actually like play-doe…it's fun and yummy.
What can I say? My inner child is a crack baby.
We had only just sat down at our chosen table when another guy plopped down in the chair beside me. Glancing over in surprise and annoyance, I immediately felt my spirits lift. Sitting beside me was another long-termer, and he had been in both my other years of art with me. The most laid back guy I know that's my age, my buddy, Howard.
Howard's a funny guy. See, he's a bit unusual around here. He's schizophrenic, but he's okay with it. Yeah, he has these strange ideas and delusions, but they don't bother him. Still, since he has them he must stay here. I don't think he minds that too much, either, as long as he gets to eat at our lovely cafeteria and occasionally watch some TV.
Oh, and as long as they let him wear his beloved sunglasses. The Drones had to make that concession for him, I guess because he said it kept the spacemen from stealing his brainwaves. He confided in my once that he was just kidding about that so he could wear them around all the time. They were specially made out of an unbreakable, easily bendable titanium alloy with shatterproof lenses. Safe and stylish, I have yet to see Howard without his shades.
So anyway, I introduced Howard and Heero. Heero just nodded silently and went back to staring at the front of the classroom. Howard just shrugged and got out a red crayon from the box sitting on our table. He started coloring a nice big orchid on the sleeve of his shirt.
Then my favorite teacher, Ms. Une, walked in the door and plopped a big bag down on her desk at the front of the room. I absolutely adore that woman. She's a former student of our little asylum, one of the success stories they tell us about. She's a split personality, and she says that she still has problems switching personalities. For the most part she's got it under control enough to live amongst the normals, which is really the whole point.
"Hi, class," she said hurriedly as she adjusted her glasses and flipped her loose hair back over her shoulder. "I'm Ms. Une, welcome to Art III. You may notice the crayons on your desk…like Howard has…" Howard waved at her. "Um, anyway, that's because I don't know if all of you can be trusted yet with things like markers and clay and sharp pointy objects. So if you prove to me that I can trust you with crayons, we can move on and do some real art, okay?"
The door opened and Alex and Mueller stalked in, wearing identical ugly grins. They stationed themselves at either side of the door. Ms. Une gave them a weird look and continued talking, but she finally stopped and turned towards the pair.
"Why are you in my classroom?" She asked sweetly.
"Ma'am, we're supposed to be monitoring for violence," Alex responded.
"Why just now? If this is a new policy, then I should have been notified. Why wasn't there anyone guarding any of my other classes today?" Ms. Une questioned.
"I don't know," Alex responded, rolling his eyes.
Oh, that was a mistake.
"Well, I assure you I can take care of my own class all by myself. I am competent enough to deal with any violence on my own. Please leave," she responded in a cold voice.
Of the few times in the past that I had seen Ms. Une's other personality rear up, I knew the warning signs when I saw them. She was about to turn evil and sooooo kick someone's ass. Evidently Alex and Mueller knew the warning signs, too, because they paled visibly.
"How about we stand outside, then?" Mueller asked.
"Fine, just go away," Ms. Une said sweetly with underlying steel lacing her voice as she waved them out the door.
They left without another word. Ha! It had been the second time today someone had told Mueller off. The big bully can't stand up to another adult, I guess. Must be why he insists on terrorizing those of us small than him. Asshole.
So anyway, we started on our first projects a few minutes later, a crayon sketch. Every art class I had ever been in always started with this, so I knew the drill. After the incompatible students had been weeded out, we'd get to move on to some painting and other interesting stuff.
I let my mind wander and my hand sketch. After a few minutes I glanced over to see how Howard was doing. He hadn't touched his piece of paper, but now he was putting the finishing touches on a very bright, very spiffy, homemade Hawaiian shirt. He had to take off his shirt to accomplish this, but he was wearing an undershirt so no one minded too much. I swear, only he could get away with that, but damn, it was pretty cool. He slipped the shirt over his head and smiled, then reached forward to grab a piece of paper.
Noticing my look, Howard looked up and grinned at me, showing off his artwork. I grinned back before glancing over to the other side of me at what Heero was doing. My silent friend was drawing seemingly random patterns on his paper, but with a slightly closer inspection, I could vaguely start to make out lines subtly forming into definite shapes among the squiggles. I shrugged and went back to working on my own picture, a storm over a mountain that I had seen in a picture book once.
There's something about the beauty of destruction that fascinates me, and it shows in my art. I love looking at pictures of tornadoes, tidal waves, fires, storms, lightning, and the like. Rarely have I gotten a chance to see any of that stuff in person, but it sure is cool. There is beauty in destruction, a paradox of nature. At least I think so, anyway. Maybe I'm just morbid like that.
As I worked, I filled Heero in on Ms. Une and her former student status. He just ignored me and continued his seemingly aimless scrawling. Unperturbed, I chattered on as I worked on a tree being struck by lightning. You know what? Crayons aren't nearly as versatile as other materials, you have to be careful because it's hard to fix your mistakes. At least, it seems that way to me. I couldn't wait to move on to pastels. They were nice and messy.
I glanced back over to check out Heero's progress. I almost had to scrape my jaw off the floor. A real picture had emerged from the casual scribbling and random sharp lines. It was a bit surreal, but it was obvious that it was our room. A figure lay on the floor, legs and arms askew, and another figure stood above him. Leaning closer, I could tell the figure on the ground was probably me, noting the long brown braid trailing from the figure's head. Standing above me was Quatre, evident from the blond hair colored on the figure.
It looked vaguely familiar, and I racked my brain to figure out why. Then it hit me up the side of the head: it was a picture of when Quatre had just walked into our room and met me for the first time. I had been so surprised when he walked into the room that I had fallen off my bed. (I hadn't been paying attention.) But how had Heero known about that? We had never discussed it before.
Disturbed, I went back to my own drawing, but I couldn't concentrate on it. What did all of it mean? I couldn’t think clearly, so instead I started planning and thinking about my plans for breaking out my blades when I got back to the room. Maybe that would clear my mind. Maybe then I could consider things better.
In retrospect, I realize that it would have helped, but I was so far gone on that little habit that it was almost a necessary compulsion that had to be fulfilled if I were to function properly. I still don't really know why, but watching those crimson rivers leak from my broken and slashed skin gave me some inner sense of peace, a sickly calming sensation. For a short while, I could focus on something other than my internal pain. I don't know, it's a complicated thing that I still try and figure out. I don't know if I ever will.
In no time at all, class ended. We put away our various drawings and scurried out the door in droves, passing Mr. Khushrenada on his way into the room, I guess to see Ms. Une. I glanced back for a second look, and saw their auras mingling slightly. I quickly looked away, feeling like I was intruding, and kept walking. Heero tagged along silently beside me, appearing to be completely recovered from his earlier session. We headed straight back to the room, and sure enough, when we got there the other guys were just arriving too.
We all filed into the room and collapsed onto our respective beds…well, okay, Quatre plopped down next to Trowa on his bunk, and Heero sat on the edge of mine, dangling his feet in the air. As we unwound from our first day of classes, we started discussing various things. Before long Heero had hopped down from my bunk and was occupied with something or other in his own bunk. I saw my opportunity and quietly reached into the little crack over the shelf level with my bed, searching for my nice, sharp blades.
They weren't there.
Instead of pulling out my blades, I found myself pulling out a small, neatly folded square of paper. Unfolding it, I found myself staring down at Heero's machine neat, all capital-lettered handwriting.
--You don't need those.--
Okay, where the hell did he get off telling me what I did and didn't need? I hopped down from my bunk and jerked aside his curtain. He was sitting there on his bed, cross-legged and seemingly waiting for me.
"Give them back," I seethed angrily.
He shook his head once. This just pissed me off more and I grabbed the front of his shirt, leaning forward to be eye level with him.
"They aren't yours. They…are…mine!" I hissed at him, probably spitting in his face. He didn't react immediately. After a few moments, he just calmly reached up and put his hands on mine where I was gripping his shirt.
Then he smiled slightly and shook his head again.
By this time, the other guys had noticed something was up and were looking strangely at me. Wufei crept up behind me and tapped me gingerly on the shoulder.
"What's wrong?" He asked quietly.
"Nothing," I muttered, dropping my hands from Heero's shirt. He didn't let go of my hands, however. I suddenly felt all the anger drain out of me. It was replaced by a sudden bone-weariness that saturated my whole body. "Never mind."
Heero pulled me down to sit beside him on his bed, and he held out a prepared note to the other guys, who had sat down on Trowa's bunk opposite us.
--I took away his razor blades.--
"Good," Trowa said, nodding his approval.
Quatre looked at me with wide, eagerly shining eyes. "You had blades? Where'd ya get them?"
Oh, damn, I hadn't counted on that. I didn't want Quatre to be able to cut, so how could I expect Heero to let me do it to myself? Well, color me hypocritical. Damn.
"Why? I thought we had helped…?" Wufei started to ask, his dark eyes very wide. Meiran was looking at me with almost an identical expression of shock, and she was gripping tightly to her living husbands arm.
"I don't know anymore," I whispered dejectedly. "I don't want to talk about it."
And so we didn't. Instead I found a better question to occupy us.
"How'd you know where I kept them?" I turned to ask Heero.
He held up another prepared note.
--I can't say.--
"Blocked from saying?" Wufei asked.
Heero nodded.
"Well, damn, that doesn't really help at all, does it?" I joked, thankful to be moving onto another subject, no matter how unpleasant it was. "Hey, anybody got homework?" I asked, remembering that we still needed to talk about the little vision Heero had sent me this afternoon.
No one did, so we decided to go outside and hang out there, shielded from any prying eyes. Besides, if we were out there, it would be harder for the Thugs to find us. They couldn't come for Heero if they didn't know where he was, right? Not to mention they couldn't try anything else on me or mess with the other guys. I'm a big believer in removing the object of temptation.
And no, that is not the same as avoidance. Avoidance is for cowards, removing yourself from a dangerous situation is smart. There is a huge difference.
~ ~ ~ ~
We made our way outside to the arbor in a roundabout way, doubling back on our route several times, just to give the impression that we wandering aimlessly. All we took with us was Heero's little notepad and pen, and we even concealed those.
Finally we made it out to our big hollow tree. Crawling in, I couldn't help but feel all secretive and excited. Hey now, it's not every crazy boy that gets involved in conspiracies and such interestingly terrifying troubles. Besides, it helps to think of it as a game, because if I really let it all get to me, then I might go insane for real.
Soon we were all settled in our little circle, the flashlight left off to conserve the batteries. I started off by telling the others what had happened while I was sitting in Sally's office, from the details of the vision right down to the little hiccup time in time. You should have seen the look on Wufei's face when I said that. Heero just sat there, sizing up the other's reactions and nodding in all the right places during my little speech.
"So what you're saying is that time went backwards for a second while you had your vision?" Quatre finally asked, his eyes wide and shining in the low light, voice echoing slightly in the hollow of the trunk.
I shrugged, "That's what happened."
"But that's impossible!" Wufei exclaimed suddenly, looking like he was trying to rationalize the whole thing in his mind, and failing miserably.
"So is seeing dead people," Trowa deadpanned.
Leave it to Trowa.
"But what about the vision itself? The thing with the table and the blocks is new, right?" Quatre asked, steering the conversation back in the direction it needed to be heading.
Heero nodded, then wrote for a minute.
--I am doing the best I can to give you clues. I cannot do more. It hurts. I am sorry.--
That about summed it up, didn't it? Heero could throw us hints, but we had to make the connections.
"Well, as long as we're at a temporary dead end on that, is there anyway that we can help you break through these fail-safes, Heero?" Wufei piped up suddenly. Meiran nodded from behind him. Half of her was inside the tree, the other half was poking outside. It was mildly unsettling at first, but I'd gotten used to it.
"Yeah, is there anything we can do?" Quatre asked, concern emanating from him.
Heero just shrugged hopelessly.
"Let me guess," I started, "You can somehow break through those fail-safes in the middle of your experiments because you're already under a lot of pain, right?"
Heero blinked in surprise and nodded.
I continued, making a few connections in my mind as I continued talking, "And you can do it in your sleep because the fail-safes are in your unconscious and conscious mind, but in dreams you can control your subconscious somehow. Your conscious mind has to catch up, but it takes a little while?"
Heero nodded again, this time with a slight smile on his face. He looked so nice when he smiled…
It all went downhill from there, and the conversation just kept going in circles. It seemed that we needed more information, but none of us really wanted to actually have anything happen that would give us that information. It was a lot to think about, and we could only take so much heavy thinking in small doses.
But…we were making progress.
~ ~ ~ ~
[1] Alas, I cannot take credit for this tidbit of insanity. Lady Tora gave me this idea. ::bows:: Thank you!
Oh, and I don't know Rashid's last name, so I just fudged that part, hope no one minds too much. ^_^ Thus, Rashid shall be known as Mr. Rashid in this fic.
~ ~ ~ ~